A New Way To Spank the Monkey

Disclaimer: I received the DilyBean Shy Monkey vibrator in exchange for an honest review.

I had no idea what to expect. I mean…it’s a monkey covering its eyes! This was almost too cutesy for me. Could it possibly bring me pleasure? Only one way to find out, of course.

John Brownstone and I lay in bed, side by side, close but not touching each other, lost in our own little worlds. I went through my typical routine of trying a new vibrator — make sure I can find the buttons, check the settings, and go. He was on his second run-through of what may be his new favorite toy. While I was still exploring, he was revving the engines, ready to enjoy his own pleasure.

I admit my expectations were low. (Monkey! Covering its eyes!) But the first and lowest steady vibration felt pleasant against my hand. If nothing else, it should feel relatively pleasant against my vulva.

From the first tentative touch, my toes curled. The sensations went deep in my labia, creating a massage-like effect. I closed my eyes and relaxed against the pillow. I could sit like this for a while…and I did.

The sensations against my labia are usually just a warm-up, but I didn’t want to rush this. It felt too good. More please.

But wait, I hadn’t had an orgasm in…I didn’t really know how long, but long enough to want to break this dry spell. Was this little monkey (!!) head going to feel good? I moved the vibrator up against my clit, still unconvinced that anything could would happen.

Oh my fucking god almighty damn! Yes, yes, yes! 

The moment the vibe touched my clit, I somehow melted and clenched at the same time. Pleasure ran like molten lava through my veins. That labia-massage got me closer than I realized. The first orgasm unfurled in delightful layers. Starting at the tips of my nipples and bottoms of my feet, running through every nerve before exploding with warm delight in my cunt.

Again. More. I want it all!

Gasping from the first orgasm, I gave myself a moment to recuperate, bringing the vibrator (monkey!) back to the sensual throbbing of my slit. Sliding it back into maximum clitoral position, I writhed as the climax streaked down my back and through my cunt.

Fucking hell this is amazing!

But still I wanted more. Craved it. I tried fucking myself with the monkey. Nothing. I clamped my thighs down over the monkey and brought the sensations even deeper. Holding it between my thighs, I wrangled with my nightstand, pawing around for something to penetrate my cunt.

My fingers closed around cold glass. A dildo. That would do nicely.

Using my thighs as a handy vibrator-holder, I grabbed lube. No matter how good the orgasms feel, my body can’t take the plunge of thick anything without a little lube. Especially not as cold as this felt against my skin.

Within moments, my thighs spread apart. I held the vibrator against my clit and pushed the glass dildo in deep. A shock to the system. A consensual violation. And then my body began to harmonize. The hard, cold glass was harsh. The vibrations from the monkey (!!) softened everything. I fucked myself until the next orgasm brought a new round of clenched muscles. And then I kept going, waiting for the next climax. At that point I was done. No more. Make it stop.

But damn it was good.

About DilyBean’s Shy Monkey

I wasn’t sure what to expect when DilyBean approached me about reviewing their product. I mean, it’s a vibrator that looks like a monkey covering its eyes! But it’s also purple, and I’m not gonna lie, that’ll get my attention every time. No sex toy is all good or all bad, so what’s up with the Shy Monkey?

What I liked about DilyBean and the Shy Monkey:

• The packaging was so discreet that it actually said “coffee” in the return address. Poor John Brownstone got a little excited about that.
• The box is equally discreet. I could have left it out where other people see, and no one would have known…until they opened the box, of course.
• The top part (the monkey) comes off the base, and you can switch it out for Scary Shark (another vibrator from DilyBean). This means you can remove the vibrator from the motor to clean it.
• The silicone is soft and pliable but still held firm against my vulva.
• My big pet peeve with vibrators is that the vibrations usually go through the handle and up my hand and arm. They did with the Shy Monkey but not nearly as bad as other vibrators do.
• This toy was legitimately quiet. John Brownstone was using one of his toys at the same time, and you couldn’t hear the Shy Monkey over his toy.

What I didn’t like about DilyBean and the Shy Monkey:

• It’s a monkey! Covering it’s eyes! (Yes, I knew that going in so it’s not like I should be shocked but every time I look at it, that’s all I think.)
• The crevices in the design are very difficult to clean. I’m not sharing this vibrator but I still don’t want it to get gunky so being able to clean it completely is important. I might need a soft bristle brush to get around the dips and bends which isn’t convenient for me.
• I felt absolutely nothing internally. We all know I’m a clit girl, but I try vibrators internally whenever possible. Even on the highest setting, it felt more like an annoying gnat to me than anything. It definitely did nothing for my g-spot.

For clitoral orgasms, it was great, and I really enjoyed it. The vibrations against my outer labia and vulva felt amazing. As I usually find with vibrators, I only really liked a couple of the settings which is fine for me.

Overall, it’s a novelty vibrator that actually did what I wanted it to do. Better than I expected it to do.

So should you get one? That’s up to you, but if you find the monkey (or shark!) cute and not weird (like me), it might be something to check out for yourself.

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