The man, the myth, the legend…too much? He’s pretty darn awesome, though. Just sayin’…
If you’ve been in this space for more than about 30 seconds, you know my love of John Brownstone, my Dominant, my Daddy, my best friend, and my partner in all things. For anyone new, we’ve lived together for a year (June 8 was the one year anniversary of moving in together), we’ve been together for over two (almost three) years, and we are the “cute” D/s couple in our personal sphere – both online and offline. (Le sigh.)
I have people tell me that they want a relationship like ours one day.
I’m an eternal optimist. I think this – a relationship built on total trust, communication, and honest – is possible for anyone willing to work hard for it. But I think people need to understand a few things about us.
John Brownstone doesn’t make me do anything. Oh, yeah, in the middle of some hot play, he might physically force me into position or give me a harsh command (rawr). In the more mundane parts of life, I might say that a task is something I’m “required” to do. But my submission is of my own free will, based on my own desires, and due in large part for my respect for the man that he is. I don’t submit to just anyone.
Everything about our relationship is a joining of two free wills. I am fiercely independent, kind of bitchy, very intense, with insanely strong opinions. There’s no one on this earth who could make me do something I don’t want to do – short of threat of death or harm to someone I care about. (And even then, I’d tell myself I was doing what I want to do.)
By mutual agreement, he’s the leader. I look to him for guidance. I defer to him in all things (yes, even when I disagree). He’s Daddy, I’m babygirl.
You have to understand, though, he doesn’t make me do the things I’m supposed to do, the things I’ve agreed to do as part of our relationship. When life gets crazy – and gawd knows it has lately – I still make his coffee, make the bed, ask permission, and do my best to keep up with small requirements he’s set (4 big glasses of water a day is hard, y’all!).
Some of what I do is visible. He never has to ask because he can see for himself whether it’s done or not. Some, like the water, is assumed based on his trust in me – and because I’ll be the first to confess if I screw up.
He doesn’t make me do these things, I make me do these things. Right now, other than titles and a few small moments to relieve some tension, anyone from the outside looking in probably wouldn’t see a D/s relationship.
On a new summer work schedule, he comes home every night, later and more tired than usual. To top it off, his sister isn’t getting much better (we know she won’t, but stable would be nice). His own health is suffering because of it, and his energy levels are low.
There’s not exactly a lot of command-issuing going on.
I get up each day, follow my routine (gawd, I love a good routine), and do what I know I’m supposed to do. I ask his opinion, defer to his judgment, and provide as much support as possible. And yes, sometimes support is in the form of a brutal opinion – and he’s okay with that, too.
In my mind, even when our D/s relationship isn’t overt, and the BDSM fun has to take a backseat to a good night’s sleep, it’s my responsibility to do the things I’ve said I will as his submissive. He doesn’t have to look over my shoulder (nor does he need to).
I do what I do because I said I would. I do what I do because it completes something within me. I do what I do because I love him. No one has to make me do a damn thing – I’d like to see them try.
But rest assured, no matter how tired he is, no matter how “vanilla” we might seem on the outside, if something goes amiss – a brassy (combination of brat and sassy) tone comes out of my mouth, the bigger tasks don’t get done, whatever – he’s all Daddy Dom, no matter how tired he is. No one makes him do that, either.
J is for John Brownstone (how could I not, right?) and the Wicked Wednesday prompt was “make me.” A perfect pairing, if you ask me. I love that man fiercely. I’m protective of him in a way that I think surprises him sometimes. I worry for him, and I would shoulder his burdens in a heartbeat if I thought it helped. But no one makes me a submissive or makes me obey, not even him. That’s all me.
Okay, click the images below to go see what others are posting today. I’m sure someone’s got something kinkier and sexier to read. Ha!
Layla you summed up your (and mine, funnily enough!) relationship perfectly!
I cannot write anything but praise for this post.
You two are so lucky to have each other and the love leaps off the screen.
So glad to know I’m not the only one who’s this fortunate. 🙂 I *do* love him so very, very much. 🙂
Perfection! The only way I can live now and be me. You’ve been a giant help in me getting there dear woman and I love you for it❤️
Awww, thank you for saying that and you’re so welcome! ((HUGS))
Free will submission. Always a choice. It really is a position of strength, which makes submission so beautiful.
I agree completely.
If it wasn’t done with complete free choice, submission would be abuse. Great post about the real thing!
(Sighs) – maybe one day I will find someone like John Brownstone but think time is running out for me.
((HUGS)) I hope not. I hope you find your one.
Your love for him radiates from this post, as does your strength!
Thank you! He’s a good man – and easy to love. 🙂
It’s evident how much you adore him. I’m glad that he takes care of you as well. Great outpouring of positive emotions.
It’s a mutual thing. We complement each other in so many ways.
You seem to have an amazingly healthy relationship. It’s what most people “mis-understand” about D/s…that whole “submissives submit of their own free will” thing. Submissives are strong. And you are a perfect example of that.
You’re right – it is definitely a major misconception. And thank you!
[…] Southern Sir aka John Brownstone is an amazing man, Dominant, Daddy, friend, lover, and partner…but I might have mentioned that before. […]
Not sure how I missed this one but it’s an awesome post.
Awww, thanks! SSir makes it easy. 🙂
[…] looked for a partner unlike anyone I’d ever been with (I recognized the pattern), when I met John Brownstone, I could honestly say, “You’re not like other men I’ve known.” Because […]