Sex Writing


I mentioned to someone earlier today that the only time I feel connected to anyone is when I’m in my blog. Whether I’m reading, commenting, or responding to comments, I feel more myself in this space than anywhere else.

Ironic, huh? You don’t know where I live, what I do, who my children are, what I look like, but you know me better than anyone else in my life.

I want to connect with people like this outside of WordPress. It finally occurred to me to go on social media. It’s part of what I do for a living so it should have been an obvious thing. I have no expectation that people will flock to me on Facebook, especially since most of us kinksters like to maintain a certain degree of anonymity, but, I went for it anyway.

I’m on Facebook as Kayla Lords for anyone willing to actually friend me. And I started a Facebook page – for my writing, the pictures that speak to me, and to share what I love seeing on Facebook that I could never share anywhere else. If you’re into that sort of thing, I’m there. If you’re not, it’s cool.

I considered starting my own Tumblr account, but I decided against it. He began one for us several months ago, and it’s where I developed my love of Tumblr and erotic imagery. I’m afraid if I log out and leave that shared space, I’ll never get back in. He may never go back there again, or he may one day ask me to log-out and move on – I respect either decision. Until then, I’ll continue to haunt the space and reblog the photos that speak to me. Interested in seeing what we created? Here.

I felt so industrious today that I made a few changes to the look of my blog, too. I added the Facebook plug-in, and I added an archives section. It may be easier to read the history (for anyone interested) if you go month by month. But I’m warning you, I write A LOT.

And if anyone’s into Twitter and wonders why I don’t start tweeting? Have you read my blogs? Can you imagine me keeping it to 140 characters? I understand how Twitter works. I tweet for a living, actually. But it’s not my favorite way to connect. Feel differently? Convince me.

Anyway, this was a completely selfish post to promote what I did today. I have no idea what it will turn into (if anything), but there it is.

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • Twitter is my next level down for venting. Anything I don’t talk about on WP, I tweet. I can’t convince anyone of its merits though because my account is on private so my students don’t see anything. I’m much more inclined to use twitter than I am FB.

    I’m getting to the point where I’m tempted to pull back my social media connections. This plays on my need for attention too much and I hate that I feel bound to it. Maybe I’m too spread out and just need a break, but I don’t know. I hope more people flock to you because I find you to be enjoyable and know others will too. 🙂

    • I always feel like Twitter needs more time invested than I’m willing to give. In order to keep those conversations going…

      Part of the appeal of FB is the instant and delayed gratification I get. I have Sally Fields “you like me” moments on FB that I’ve never had on Twitter.

      I’m very aware that I may be stretching myself very thin by adding this element. If I stop posting on my vanilla FB account, my mother will worry. No really, the last time I went about 24 hours without posting something, she called me to make sure I was ok…

      But I like feeling connected. It’s nice to not feel so alone in the world. I sell myself as a social media hack to my employers, so maybe I should put my money where my mouth is – so to speak… 🙂

      And you’re very sweet to say that. You know I adore you, too. 🙂

      • It’s not bad. People don’t expect high levels of interaction.

        I don’t post enough in Facebook for anyone to notice, but someone probably would on twitter. I think I’m just frustrated so my need to pull back stems from that.

  • I have both twitter and FaceBook, I sent you a friend add request, On twitter i have met many who share my interests and have blogs also. On FaceBook, I belong to a Fetish Authors group and have met many who also have wordpress or blog areas too. I have shared a story or two from time to time of yours and I always send them to twitter and FaceBook. The twitter shared stories get reblogged often, meaning many have access to the stories shared. On FaceBook you are limited to friends which is usually smaller in number. All of my posts on my wordpress area are posted to my twitter and FaceBook page giving my post a much bigger audience. Much Luck to you in your social media discerning and search.

    • I wondered how I was getting readers from Twitter. Thank you!

      I’m still thinking about Twitter…I’m so much more proficient in Facebook, especially pages that my comfort level is a determining factor…but regardless, I love being connected…

      I know people (those who aren’t into it) think social media causes a disconnect, but some of the friends I’ve made there are more real to me than people I know in real life… 🙂

    • I wanted to let you know that I never received the friend request you mentioned. I didn’t want you to think I ignored you…if you changed your mind, it’s ok, but if you didn’t, I didn’t receive it…

  • I have found that since starting my blog I have spent significantly less time on facebook. I find, too, that here are where people really know me(Ironically enough)
    I’d rather “spend time” with like minded folks, like yourself


  • “Interested in seeing what we created?”

    If you are, I suggest you make sure you have a full wine glass, or, better still, the bottle. Take a deep breath. Lots and lots of, er, interesting images and suggestions.

    Kayla, no small wonder you feel at a loss. *Hugs* you.

    And thank you for sharing that very intimate space.

    • Thank you for taking the time to look and comment. I’m a deeply submissive woman (if I hadn’t already made that obvious)…that space allowed us to tell the story in pictures…

      And yeah, the loss can be pretty unbearable at times…today is one of those days…ah well, this too shall pass, yes?

      • I can only say ‘one day at a time’. I’m sure you have had loss before; it is always awful, there is never a bright spot in your days, you always have a deep gnawing inside. But, as you have said on other pages, carry on. It does not get worse, from where I think you are Maybe not much better for a while, but not worse. Also, you have a responsibility to others, people who need you, and you know you can’t and won’t let them down.

        • It probably says something about me that I’ve never had a loss like this…usually I walk away first…and the last loss happened over time and was so gradual that I suffered the loss little by little…by the time I said good bye, I realized good bye had occurred weeks earlier…

          I’ve been a responsible adult since I was 19 with someone depending on me in some way, so yes, I’m acutely aware of my responsibilities to others…it’s why I don’t allow myself to dwell too much on the bad…I don’t have the luxury of pulling the covers over my head and being selfish for more than about 30 seconds at a time… 🙂

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