This week has, finally and slowly, begun to feel more normal. After a two-day migraine that kicked my ass, I was ready to do something that just feels good. (If you think I mean something kinky, think again…maybe this weekend.) Recording an episode of Loving BDSM always leaves me feeling energized. That we spent this week discussing something that is blatantly positive – as in, positive reinforcement – only made me feel better.
John Brownstone uses both punishment and positive reinforcement in our relationship, depending on which will produce the desired results. Punishment is rare, but positive reinforcement helps me reach goals, change my behavior, and be the person I really want to be. But it’s not something we think too much about. It’s just what we do. Until a Dominant reached out to John Brownstone asking for advice on what to do about a submissive who couldn’t seem to follow the rules. His question was about punishment, but the answer he received included ideas for positive reinforcement.
And a show idea was born.
Also this week, we make an appearance on the Proud to Be Kinky podcast (<== iTunes link) so shout-out to Floss and Bakji Ben for having us on. No one who listens to Loving BDSM will be surprised by this, but our interview is (so far) their longest episode ever. Ha! I warned Floss that I’m a talker!
From the show:
- What is positive reinforcement?
- How is it different from punishment?
- It can be used to instill discipline.
- Not just for DD/lg dynamic although it seems popular there.
- Good for goal-oriented submissives who like to see their progress.
- Not all Dominants like the idea of punishment – nor do submissves – and this is a good alternative that’s also effective.
Listen to the show:
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