It’s funny when you see Hollywood movies, no matter how gritty they to look, the sex scenes still feel pretty watered down. The camera often uses a soft focus, and the protagonists are pretty silent, just seemingly focused on the process of love making. In real life, sex is often louder and dirtier, especially when you start talking dirty to each other.
Sure it might not be to the extreme that porn depicts it (and really, is that what you want?), but there is nothing wrong with heating up the situation with a few well-placed comments. While typical movies can be a little too soft, porn can sometimes be a bit harsh. It’s easy to wonder how much you should push your dirty talk before your partner takes it the wrong way. You might want to say something hot, but you don’t want to scare them away.
Is Dirty Talk Your Kink?
Maybe you enjoy role-playing and a certain amount of words are needed to make that work. Even outside of role play, in D/s, Dominants use words to assert a position of authority, give commands, call your submissive names. You can use all sorts of dirty words to call your partner as long as the two of you agree about things prior to the act. Maybe you like calling your partner (or being referred to as) a slag. That’s a person who fucks as many people as possible not caring about anything except the orgasm (according to Urban Dictionary).
Certain words take it too far for people. There are words they can’t bear to be called. It’s important to know this before you start. If you’re a bit unsure about whether your partner is okay with that, ask them what they think about dirty talk. When you meeting new people online, you might say you’re looking to find local slags on localbangs.com or other sex dating sites. If they express a certain concern or outrage at the use of the word, explain that you really enjoy dirty talk, it’s a kink of yours – giving or receiving, depending on your preference.
How You Say It Matters
You can say one word but depending how you say it, it can have a totally different meaning to someone. Let’s focus on the word slag again. You can mean it as a compliment for someone being really good in bed, or you could be taking out your anger on someone from the opposite gender. It’s not always what you say, but how you say it that matters most – yes, even when you’re talking dirty.
Quite frankly dirty talk works best when you don’t have a chip on your shoulder. If you really mean the dirty word with anger, your partner might not appreciate being the receiving end of your frustrations. Now of course you can use sex to take out some frustrations, as long as your partner is willing. Ultimately, it all depends on what you agree on, but how you say things can have a bigger effect than the words themselves.
Role Play Works Best
As mentioned earlier, the best times to exchange some salacious words is when you’re role-playing. You might be dressed up as the policeman, arresting this naughty criminal; or you might be the one being handcuffed. There’s no limit to what you can come up with in role play! Those sorts of situation require dirty talk to make it more real. Because you know it is just playing, you can really let loose and say things you would otherwise be too scared to say to someone else.
The bottom line is this: when it comes to dirty talk, you can go as far as your partner will accept. It’s best to agree on some rules before you get started, that way you can make sure not to use words that can trigger some negative feelings from your partner. So have a little chat about your naughty chat before you get going; the more prepared you both are the better!
This post written and sponsored by LocalBangs.com.