If you have to ask yourself if we really need to talk about something, the answer is probably yes.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve received messages from other kinksters who talk about all their concerns, fears, and anxieties and then ask what they should do. Or they ask if they should talk to their partner.
First of all, the answer is yes!
Second, just because I give advice doesn’t mean I always take it.
Sitting in therapy, going over the myriad of anxieties I’d been feeling lately, I’d let it slip that I’d been worried about my own relationship with John Brownstone. Yes, I say “let it slip.” I hadn’t intended to talk about it at all because I didn’t want to admit my own fears. Admitting them might make them true.
So he gave me the same advice that I give to everyone else. Physician heal thyself…
And I did. And it went well, better than I expected. We’re good now. My anxieties have been eased.
If it happens to me, I know it happens to others. So let’s talk about it.
From the show:
- This week’s episode sponsored by The Butters lube
- Recently, I had to confess a few concerns and fears I had about our relationship
- I worried that I might be wrong and would feel silly.
- I worried I might be right and then I’d have to deal with the outcome.
- He listened and we didn’t try to “fix” anything in one conversation. We came back to it later after he’d had time to think about things.
- At the end, we decided to stick with what worked but promised to make changes if it became necessary.
- It’s better to talk about something when it feels small than waiting for it to become a giant issue.
- Sometimes our head makes us think things that aren’t true.
- We stay silent out of fear – not good.
- Both sides need to be able to say how they’re feeling, even if it’s difficult, and even if it upsets the other person.
- We got a postcard!
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