Sex Toy Reviews

This Isn’t a Dream #SexToyReview

“I don’t care what you think. I’m a sex writer, damn it, and I know erotic images. This sucks. I’m not offended. I just wish you’d picked better pictures. This isn’t remotely sexy or a turn-on.”

The scene changed. I’m in the back of a van converted to office space, trying to show the images to John Brownstone.

“Can you believe this is what they picked to use as selection material? How I can possibly sign the boys up for baseball if this is the kind of operation they’re running? They should have asked someone like me for advice on which porn to use.”

My eyes flutter open.


His cock slid deep in my pussy with one smooth move. I opened my eyes. Not dreaming. I sighed with pleasure.

He stroked my back, pushing my head back down.

No one spoke. I barely groaned. I tried to make encouraging noises, but they seemed unnecessary.

His movements were smooth and effortless.

Did he use lube? He must have used lube. I would have woken up if he’d gotten me wet. Fuck this feels good.

“Fuuuuuuuuck, you feel good.”

He grabbed my hair, giving it a gentle tug. His rhythmic thrusting was slow and steady. I could almost sink back down into my dreams, lulled by the movement.

His hands were everywhere, gentle caresses on my back, over my hip, holding my arm.

Just as I was beginning to really wake up, I heard, “Oh Goooooooooooooooooooooood, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

He came, his come gently pulsing deep in my body. I swore I could feel it coating my insides, so quiet and still was the moment.

About The Butters: Cocoa Butter x Honey

Yeah, that first part was a dream – a really weird one. The rest? That was all John Brownstone and the latest version of The Butters lube we love so much (received in exchange for an honest review). He slid in so easily – waking me up in the process – I knew he’d lubed up. I’d hoped it was with this one.

From my perspective: It’s not sticky, goopy, runny, or cold like other lubes. Because of the ingredients used, it’s almost moisturizing. I swear my pussy feels softer right now. It has a pleasant, natural smell – nothing overwhelming. The consistency is slightly thicker than the original version.

What John Brownstone says: “I love this as much as the original.” And he said it feels creamier to him. He also promised he didn’t dip his cock into this jar like he does with the other jar we have.

This version is made with cocoa butter and raw honey and can be used for things other than lube like leather care, bootblacking, to soothe ouchies, and to condition hair, skin, and nails (so maybe my pussy is smoother when we use it).

Want to try it for yourself? Because we’re such fans of The Butters, I’m also an affiliate so I have a coupon code for you.

Use KAYLA at checkout and you’ll get 5% off your purchase.

Get The Butters

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


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