The Honesty and Weirdness of Hookup Requests on Craigslist

Okay, so this is a little weird to admit, but I’ve been looking through the local Craiglist ads from casual encounters to “misc. romance” and everything in between. In just a short time, I know much more about the online, hookup world than I did before.

Some people want to meet at a restaurant and then get a blowjob in their car.

Others want someone to cuddle with them.

Of course, plenty want to fuck and be fucked.

ISO, HWP, 420, and a few others are new acronyms, abbreviations, and slang I now know, too.

In reading through the different personals, it’s easy to be a little squicked out at some of the requests made. The pillow princess who hopes to move in with the person who responds? (Finding someone to lick her pussy is probably the easy part of that request.) The larger people who want other larger people to lick their ass? I’m not even capable of reading the words “lick our ass” out loud (yes, I understand I write those words. Saying them is different.) Even for someone like me, who happily writes my most erotic moments for the anyone to read, it’s a little intense.

Somewhere between the man looking for the ISO jock, bear, or chub to fuck him and be his workout partner and the husband and wife looking for a girlfriend to move in with them, I had a startling revelation about these ads.

Being able to clearly state your sexual needs (however fleeting they may be) in an open forum where anyone and everyone can see them while hoping for a response may be one of the purist forms of sexual self-expression and honesty. These nameless, faceless people are sharing exactly what they want and need from another human being in a sexual way – no coy banter, no shy looks, no stumbling through the words. This is it. Take it or leave.

It’s almost refreshing.

Yes, it’s sad, too. Instead of feeling they can meet people in real life, they take to anonymous internet ads.

And don’t get me wrong. I know some of the people on here are bald-faced liars. Many probably look nothing like their description. Or they want what they want but aren’t prepared to give what they offered. Or they’ve got other issues that make them a bad idea for someone who doesn’t want drama. Or they’re stalkers, serial killers, and have a whole host of issues that would deem them in the “not with a 10 foot pole” category.

But just how many people are capable of making a request to the internet gods for their sexual needs in such a bold, clear, unashamed way? Not many (if my local personals section is any indication).

And yes, I rolled my eyes at Mr. Domly-Dom™ who went on Craigslist looking for his forever submissive – with no mention of getting to know them, understanding it would take time, etc. And the clearly very needy submissive woman who said she was waiting for “anyone to Dom” her made me a little sad. Maybe I should help these two meet. Uhhhh…maybe not.

I even made my way to platonic and the w4w section and saw a few posts that didn’t make me repeat in a hushed whisper, “Your kink isn’t my kink, and that’s okay. Your kink isn’t my kink, and that’s okay.” I’m too shy to reach out to a total stranger and make contact like that but it was nice to see.

If nothing else ever comes from it, reading through the ads and seeing what other people are looking for and want is a fascinating lesson in human sexuality.


About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • I’m like you in regards to being able to write things I can’t say out loud. It is the thing I get commented on most when meeting new people who have seen my blog. They can’t get over how shy I am in person. It’s a funny thing to be able to write with no hesitation, so open and unabashedly, but to blush and squirm and be completely out of your comfort zone to speak those things out loud to another human being.

    • Yes! I know that one very well. SSir teases me sometimes…and he’s even made me say things in the past just to see me blush. Of course, there are some words I’m very comfortable with (cock is one) and I forget that the vanilla world doesn’t use that word as often as I do. Oops!

  • CL was a huge education for me, and not entirely in a good way either. My ex was so popular on the m4m section that men were placing ads specifically FOR him. Wow.
    And yes I found it sad too, that so many people felt the only way they could get their needs met was through sneaking around on CL, but then I realized that the sneakiness element was half of the draw, and that many of the people on there never actually hook up, the thrill is in the “possibility”. Okay, if that’s your thing, then yay, go have fun pretending and role playing. For me, if I can’t meet you at a munch or an event in person and get to know you, then you must have something to hide and I’m not interested.

  • i love reading stuff like this because like you i love seeing what is going o out there, and i get inspiration for stories. and like you it is hard to convert from writing to saying for me as well!

  • I recently joined the [City] Personals group on Fet and it’s been an utterly fascinating slice of kink life and what various people are looking for. Which sounds not unlike CL, only with slightly fewer acronyms!

    I now am trying to figure out if I’m HWP. What makes it proportional? Who decides?

    Great post 🙂

    xx Dee

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