Submissive

BDSM Isn’t Just a Different Kind of Sex [Guest Post]

I'd love to welcome the Alexander Institute, a site geared towards teaching people how to have better sex, to our little kinky corner of the world today! I have partnered with them to offer guest blog posts as well as something a little more (I'll tell you more at the end of the post). When we started talking, I warned them that you were all kinky fuckers and that here on this corner, we talk about BDSM - a lot. They were totally down with that, and I said they were welcome to stop by, visit, and share content every so often. So, help me welcome the Alexander Institute in their first guest post! 

BDSM is a fairly recent term for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism.  It can be an emotional thrill, or a way to reinvigorate a relationship and create intimacy.

BDSM isn't just a different kind of sex. Elements can be incorporated into your current sexual repertoire. It’s a world of consensual explorations of sensation and power dynamics.

One of the most important things in any relationship is communication.  A common phrase in the BDSM community is: safe, sane & consensual.  Openly talking with your partner, especially when practicing BDSM, will lead to a better experience.

Bondage is a sexual practice that involves people being tied up or otherwise restrained for pleasure, usually with cords or handcuffs.  The materials, positions, and types of binding you use can achieve different levels of sexual arousal.

Dominance and submission means giving and accepting dominance of one partner over another in sexual play or as a lifestyle.  It can be anonymous – via telephone, email or instant messaging – or it can be intensely physical, sometimes crossing into S&M.

Many cultures recognized pain as an aphrodisiac - the Kama Sutra, in particular, goes into specific detail on how to properly strike a partner during sex. In the right context, with the right person, pain can be perceived as erotic sensation.

BDSM can be practiced in private, in public, or in professional settings called dungeons.  A dungeon isn’t necessarily underground; it can be any space that’s set aside for scene activities...sometimes in a residential basement or spare room.

Ready-made BDSM "toys" and equipment are common in sex shops and leather shops.  Riding crops, gags, masks, wrist and ankle-cuffs, nipple-clamps, floggers, paddles, harnesses, and collars are all considered tools of the trade in BDSM.

Biting, sensory deprivation, spanking and similar behaviors are referred to as erotic torture.  It’s practiced for the sexual gratification of either or both parties.

Some BDSM activities involve interesting ways to tie up or wrap your lover, who might get pleasure from the pressure and strain of the ropes.  Modern erotic bondage uses simple yet visually intricate patterns.

My favorite line? BDSM isn't just a different kind of sex. No doubt, right? Okay, so you remember at the beginning of the post when I said they were offering something a little more, too? Well, actually, I'm offering it - with their help. The Alexander Institute offers a line of on-demand erotic videos (for instructional, learning purposes - ya kinky fucks!) and they're allowing me to sell them through my website. Yes, I make a cut of the sales, and yes, I may, from time to time, remind you that they're there, but y'all know me. Only purchase something that you really want. Want to see the page and the videos that are available? The page is the Sex Education Video Series and there's BDSM videos plus swinging, anal, and more!

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am an erotic author, sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, and an opinionated marketer. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!

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