February Photofest 2019

New Lines

Kayla Lords naked butt and back

If I seem to have a preoccupation with my own butt this February Photofest…you’re right.

But this random picture, taken by John Brownstone after I asked, “How does my ass look?” (To which he replied, “Fucking amazing”) and then demanded proof, shows off a lot more than my bottom.

There are lines in my body, dips and bends and curves, I’ve never seen before — that were never there before. And there are lines (like that scar) that I’m very familiar with. But when he says, “That’s a mighty fine ass” I see what he means.

For the last year or so I’ve been on a quest to regain some semblance of health after too many years humble-bragging about being healthy as a horse (pardon the expression) and then having the Universe say, “Hold my beer” to teach me a few lessons. Ulcers, bulging discs, poor overall health, inflammation, added weight, and just miserableness forced me to make changes — not that I’m perfect about those changes or that there aren’t still more to make.

And feeling good for its own sake is a worthy goal. It’s what I was going for, but I would be a liar if I didn’t say that I also wanted to lose a bit of weight, too. But the feeling good goal has been easier to see for myself — although it does feel a bit like a dog chasing its tail. I feel better, and then realize something else (like my sleep or focus) isn’t quite right, so I go down that path to feel better.

But (ha, butt) feeling is the not always the same as seeing. Yes how I feel should matter most, but I’m a product of society, my life, and everything I’ve ever seen, heard, been told, or thought. Wanting to lose weight and see a change in my body is part of that.

The image above (in part of a series of photos John Brownstone took) allowed me to see my body — specifically my back and butt — in a new way. To see the new lines and shapes. To revel in the way my body is changing in a way that I like, that I find pleasing.

Also, photos like this make me think, “Look at that ass, though!”

side view of Kayla Lords naked butt, back, and legs

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • Yup, look at dat ass! I’ve been telling you I’ve been seeing changes and you wouldn’t believe me but (butt) the proff is in the pictures.

    • XOXO. And seeing the proof helps me keep going. Which just means more need for “proof” in picture form which turns into more naked pictures…and now my evil plan all comes together. 😉

  • Congratulations on your healthy changes!

    Feeling and seeing are often two different things, partly because we tend to have clearer-cut preconceived visual notions of what “losing weight” and “getting healthy” is *supposed* to look like. But{t} seeing it for what it DOES look like – and embracing it – is empowering. (And sexy, and all that jazz.) 🙂

    • Thank you so much!

      And yes, I agree. Which is why I should probably take JB’s advice to take more pictures so I can see what I also feel. But(t) the hardest part for me is trying to get rid of that mental image of what I think I “should” look like — which is probably the biggest trap we all fall into. Embracing who I am is a nicer feeling than feeling awful all the time about not having a specific body type. As with all things, it’s a process.

  • Such an amazing and humble journey. Learning to love our own bodies is often a crazy path with those damn roundabouts! I’ve definite gotten turned more than not. Thanks for the inspiration to just enjoy the progress, you have no idea how much I needed this today, so thank you. And the photo is gorgeous JB.

  • I love how positive this is Kayla, and you’ve inspired me to make some changes too. You’re right about feeling better being important, and I’m glad you not only feel better but you also look amazing! Thanks for sharing xx

    • I’m glad I could do that for you! Once I realized I didn’t want to feel bad anymore, some (but not all) changes were easier to make. It feels good to feel good. 🙂

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