We all have so many different types of friends. Friends that you work with. Friends that you flirt with. Friends that you drink with or hang out with. Kinky friends. And then there’s the friend that you have a bit of naughty fun with every now and again. Rawr! Call it a fuck buddy if you like. We prefer ‘friend with benefits’ because it’s friendlier (no pun intended), but behind it is that person you really enjoy getting down and dirty as often as you can. How easy is it to find that special friend as opposed to let’s say a one night stand? Here are a few tips!
The idea behind friends with benefits is one of convenience. You basically want someone who you can have sex with in a short notice. It doesn’t have to happen on the minute you desire it, but the sooner the better. With that in mind, your best bet is probably to look around for local sex dating sites. Most adult dating platforms will allow you to search for people who live close to your area; with post (or zip) code sex rising in popularity. Having a fuck buddy that lives close by will help you get to know them better. Just use local sex dating and let people know on your profile that you are looking for a possible fuck buddy.
Trial and Error
Now this sounds a bit impersonal, but you can’t just wish for a fuck buddy. Both of you have to try each other out first (with or without sex) and see if you are happy with what you get. So don’t pressure your date about becoming your go-to for a quick fuck, instead just go on that date, have fun and if the two of you liked it then go on another. Basically if you have a really bad encounter with someone then it might be better to call it quits; unless of course the two of you decide to give it another chance. After all, we don’t always get that first time right, and maybe you can give each other a second chance if the sex wasn’t great but you still got on well with each other.
Maybe Not Your Real Friends
There are times in life when you end up sleeping with your friends, it happens more often than people think. However you may want to consider how important that friendship is. If that person is a childhood friend, maybe you want to keep that friendship intact and stay away from having sex with each other. Sex makes things complicated when you do it with people who already have an emotional investment in you. You could end up losing that friend for good with things like jealousy getting in the way. Now we’re not saying you can’t have sex with a good friend, after all there is all that built-up desire that can accumulate over time. But be careful and talk about whatever having sex with them made you feel, good or bad.
The thing about being sex buddies is that you’re not obliged to be exclusive to one-another. This means your partner could be sleeping with other people and so could you. Because of this, you will definitely want to consider using condoms (and any other form of birth control you might need) every time you hook up. Sex is there to make you feel good, and what’s the point of having a fuck buddy if you have to worry and regret every time after you’ve had sex. It’s all about no-strings fun, so keep those strings away so you can truly benefit of the joys of having sex without the nasty side-effects.
Communicate Your Feelings
You may think you’re just two people having sex, but as you have fun with that person regularly, it’s possible that one of you might start developing feelings that go further than just lust and a good time. If you start feeling that way, you’ve got to tell your partner; they need to know. Being in love breaks the nature of your original arrangement. Suddenly you may find that you each want something different. Things stop being simple once the two of you have a different agenda, so be fair to your friend and tell them the truth. Maybe they will feel the same, in which case it’s all good. But if they don’t, then it is probably time to call it quits while everything is still on a friendly level.
Your fuck buddy/friend with benefits might be kinky or they might not. You may just scratch an itch for each other. You may or may not hang out outside of fucking. The important thing is to find what works for each of you. Like any other relationship, yes even one based on sex, it’s important to have some level of communication with each other – especially if feelings start getting in the way. If what you really want is a friend (or few) with benefits, they don’t magically appear on your doorstep (and if they do, someone teach us that trick!). You have to go find them, and then, like any other relationship, you have to cultivate it so it works for both of you – even if that means walking away when it no longer does.