Sex Toy Reviews

A Masturbation Break

Hours of focusing on stringing words and thoughts together to form a coherent picture took their toll. Research notes were scattered everywhere. Tired fingers ached.

To the side of my laptop sat an empty plastic carton that I’m sure once held a salad. Now there was only a fork and bits of lettuce. I vaguely remembered eating it, although I clearly remember feeling starved just before I sat down.

The dog looked up at me with literal puppy-dog eyes. I hadn’t paid enough attention to him either.

Hell, I was still cocooned in John Brownstone’s bathrobe, forgoing the 30 seconds it takes to dress in order to get to work that much quicker.

My eyes were crossed. My head hurt. And my brain was fried.

It was time for a break.

A masturbation break. A mid-day wank to ease the tension, unwind, and (maybe) make the day go by faster.

A new wand massager, bright pink and silicone, should do the trick (received in exchange for an honest review).

I’d let it charge completely because the instructions said you might not feel the full force of the “massage” affect if it didn’t have a full battery. There was no way I was going to let that happen! This was no Hitachi (but really, what is?) so let’s make sure it was at full strength, m’kay?

I peeled off the clothes I’d thrown on to walk the dog and spread the towel down (just in case) over the bed. I played with the settings to see what I was up against.

I laid down on the bed, naked, flush with anticipation, toes curling before I’d even begun. I turned it on. The first setting was a pulse. I placed it over my slit just below my clitoris. Mmmmmm, that felt good.

The vibrations throbbed through my muscles. A pussy massage? I’ll take it. I began to relax.

I tilted my pelvis and rolled the wand up a bare millimeter and WHOA. The orgasm raced up through the bottom of my feet, up my legs and inner thighs, until it thrummed out of my body. I cried out, my eyes squeezed shut. I grabbed a handful of sheet and held on.

My body trembled as first one and then another climax washed over me.

I pulled the massager away and stared at it in wonder. That wasn’t the highest setting or the steadiest pulse. What the hell?

Curious, I rolled through each setting, gingerly placing the head near my clitoris – sometimes over the hood, sometimes under. The pulses felt good on my body. My overly sensitive clit exploded with the barest touch.

Until…I was empty. No more orgasms came no matter how long I held the massager in place or what setting I tried. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it felt good, but my body went on strike. I’d pulled too many orgasms too quickly in such a strong way that my clit said, “No more!” Even when I spread my clitoral hood, exposing my nerve-filled button to the full strength of the massager, all I felt was the sharp pain of an overly sensitive clit.

I wasn’t ready to go back to work. Instead, I went through more of the settings and held the massager against my pussy and let the pulsing throbs wash over me.

When I eventually got out of the bed and go back to work, my cunt ached, and my clit was in hiding. But I was much more relaxed. And I may, or may not, have begged John Brownstone to fuck me when we go to bed.

About Hummingbird

This handheld, hot pink, silicone massager called the Hummingbird Handheld Wand Massager by Lyps looks unassuming. I’m spoiled by my love of the Original Magic Wand (aka the Hitachi) so I come at these types of toys with a certain skepticism. Can anything really compete with my love?

While no replacement, this thing gives the Hitachi a run for it’s money.

No, it’s not as powerful (or as loud) but the orgasms I did achieve were blinding, nearly painful, and the kind I feel in every nerve of my body. When I put it away, I ached all over – in a delicious and tired way.

The settings surprised me most. First of all, there are several pulsing settings and you can adjust them up or down. I thought I’d need it on max pulse (a solid, steady vibration) at the top setting. Nope. The rhythmic, stutter-start settings were great. And at one point, I actually turned the thing down. Down! Even better, it’s quiet – although I wasn’t. I’m sure the neighbors wondered who was killing a cat.

As impressed as I am with the Hummingbird, it’s not all perfect. The vibrations can be felt in your hand while you’re using it. Within a few minutes, my fingers were tingly and if it hadn’t been for the overwhelming orgasms, it would have been annoying. I also didn’t love the buttons. They’re built into the silicone itself so my fingers couldn’t easily tell the difference between changing the pulse or changing the intensity. I had to focus on the buttons whenever I wanted to move up or down.

And while I didn’t play with it long enough to really drain the battery, the FAQ/Troubleshoot part of the user guide says clearly that if the vibrations don’t feel strong enough, it needs to be charged. (Yes, it’s a USB rechargeable toy!) So for the kinky among us, you probably won’t want to use it in a multi-hour scene. And you’ll probably always want to let it charge up before you play with it – just in case.

But will I play with this again? Hell yeah.

Will I let John Brownstone know we should pull it out during our kinky play? Yep. (Hint-hint, Daddy.)

And should masturbation breaks totally be a thing in life? I vote that we make it so, y’all.

Interested in this one for your own pleasure?

Get the Hummingbird Handheld Wand Massager by Lyps!

*I received the Hummingbird by Lyps in exchange for an honest review.*

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


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