Help me welcome Rachel Esco to the blog today. She’s discussing using porn in a sexually positive and healthy way to bring more kinky fuckery into your life. Who doesn’t need more of that?!
When trying to turn up the volume of your sex life, how many modes and settings do you have? Most couples rely on the same old bells and whistles: handcuffs, nipple clamps—you know, the usual goodies. But how often are you using porn as your go-to stimulator? Maybe once in a blue moon? The problem is that many couples see porn as a personal indulgence, like a having a secret craving or a bizarre fetish that’s kept hush-hush. Yet, sharing your porn fantasies with your partner can actually unlock so many erotic doors to better sex—and here’s why.
Uncover New Fetishes
Porn gives couples the chance to chat about random things that turn them on. As you pick your poison, you two can open up about erotic fantasies. You might even discover some quirky fetishes that you have in common, creating new opportunities for some racy fun. For example, according to Sex Expert Kristen Solle, “most straight women prefer lesbian porn”, so that’s some common ground that both you and your partner can get frisky with.
In other cases, maybe you’ll witness something really kinky and imaginative that’ll get you both excited—let the experimentation begin!
Keeps Things Creative
Got the bedroom blues? Try using porn as a gateway to sex heaven. With your partner, select a new genre or episode of porn that’s different from your usual menu of choices. Copy the unique position or interaction you see, whether it be quirky, shocking or even a little sidestep outside your comfort zone.
But before jumping right into the action, warm up by having “sex in a position that allows both of you to watch the video, such as rear-entry,” suggests Sex Expert Dennis Thomas in his article, “Can Couples Porn Rev Up Your Sex Life?”
Increases Sexual Intensity
A couple who embraces porn can break the monotony of old routines. While exploring exciting porn together, be it a wild orgy or an experimental couple, there is a stronger erotic presence in the room. That huge dose of steamy visuals and moaning sounds creates an orchestra of hotness that can send your arousal into hyper drive. Ultimately, this strong sexual energy fuels your libido, helping you augment your sexual bond with your partner.
BDSM Inspiration
Thirsty for some hotter BDSM? Porn can satisfy even the lustiest urges. Like foreplay, watching people patriciate in hardcore sex lets you both get off to their intensity, paving the way for your own thrills. It can also set the tempo for changing the style of your sex, from something casual and playful, to something more aggressive and exhilarating.
To turn up the thunder even more, “couples who like it kinky can use restraint systems to add some fire between the sheets,” suggests Sex Coach R.Esco in her article, “Best Sex Toys for Couples.” The combination of bondage and hardcore porn will create a wild interplay of sensations that’ll drive you two mad with desire.
Hot Roleplay Prop
Porn can also become one of your hottest roleplay props. One day, pretend you’ve walked in on your partner watching a raunchy porn flick, and your reaction turns from pissed to horny, as you become seduced into submitting to the fantasy.
This roleplay scenario can take on many forms, depending on your deepest desires. You could act out a scene where you catch your “doctor” secretly watching porn in the office, but somehow you become involved in the naughtiness.
So, in many ways, porn can offer a healthy source of inspiration before or during sex. Perhaps it’s time we say goodbye to Netflix and hello sex flicks!
About Rachel Esco
Rachel Esco is a stylish lifestyle writer based in Toronto, known for her spicy articles on nightlife, dating and fashion. Her articles have been featured in chic publications, including the “Women’s Post” and “She Knows”. While writing for the LOVE & TECH section of the Women’s Post, Rachel offered her sharp eye for dating strategies and an arsenal of juicy experiences for Toronto’s young professionals. She also wrote reviews on trendy urban restaurants and hot spots, using her fresh brand of know-how into the nuances of city nightlife. As a drink enthusiast and trendsetter, Rachel has also contributed to popular dating advice blogs such as Love Panky and mandecoder.com, helping today’s singles lead more romantically active lives.
If only it worked that way with everyone.
I wish it did, too. ((HUGS))
Very interesting reading, KL.
I know from sociological and scientific studies at the university level, that the variety of porn also cooresponds these days to the kinds of interests/sexual orientation, including female versus male dominated viewpoint and direction, which is different that the initial years when the dominant view and direction were solely male for make viewership. At last, women aren’t second class citizens when it comes to sexual desires, or viewing of sexual acts.
I can remember watch a porn scene for the first time in the late eighties, just on a dare in my university years by make friends. I laughed through the whole thing. It probably was because the dialogue was so bad it made the rest of it unbelievable. Not to mention sexual gymnastics, overinflated muscularity not necessarily popular at the time, and the obvious plasticity of the female actresses.
The other unbelievable thing was the guy friends I was sitting which who dared me seemed to think it might be “doable with the right girl”. Needless to say, I warned female friends and classmates away from these idiots, after I had them rerun it without the sound, and they still thought it good viewing.
I had a feeling that was the only form of sex education most guys were getting, which was insane and unrealistic. I’m very happy that persons of all gender orientations not only have sex education material available, but porn videos or sex education videos that can help with unreasonable or uneducated expectations.
Since that viewing and a couple times since then as an adult in older decades, I don’t find it worth viewing. I think I prefer a better sexual action and sexual sequence in various popular movies than I would something that I would have to turn the sound off, because it’s unreal and distracting a good deal of the time. Even most art films are better viewing when it comes to sex scenes.
It might be interesting to view sexual BDSM porn in that manner, probably because it could be educationally helpful to both partners.
I would think it would be one of those viewing times that could also be beneficial to young adults who are trying to work out their sexual desires and do it in a way where they aren’t damaged by trying to do so. Not everyone understands or knows their sexual identity as young adults. I would think that if we are to educate and rid younger generations of sexual ignorance and shame, a variety of sexual genres and scenes done correctly would be very helpful.
Hotness factor? Maybe. I have a developed sense of cynicism in regards to how men and women are viewed in all media. I would think it depends on the circumstances and one’s partner. Not everyone’s level of visual stimulation is the same. Some women’s reactions to reading sexually stimulating written material are often higher than the reaction to visual material.
As a role play prop? Quite possibly.
Oh, and the Lesbian porn preference? Blech. That was my initial reaction. I know it’s probably quite juvenile, but it was my gut reaction. Does absolutely nothing for me. I have many LGTBQ friends and family, love them a great deal, but it’s not an interest to view that genre of porn as a means of stimulation.
I am not alone in feeling that way either, hearing anecdotes from female friends, and reading various sexuality longitude study reports. Not everyone has an interest in their own gender. I think the sample interviewed might be a bit too small in the study. The educator’s overall conclusions are a direction not validated by orther logitudinal studies, such as Kinsey or Masters and Johnson.