Wicked Wednesday

I’m Goal-Oriented Girl #WickedWednesday

I don’t really remember a time when I didn’t have goals I wanted to achieve. From reading a series of books as a child to making major life decisions, my life is set out as a series of goals to achieve and things I want to do.

For many years, I didn’t allow my instinct to guide me at all. I set a goal based on what I thought I should be doing and what I thought I wanted (even though my gut was screaming at me to cease and desist). When I chose a goal, whatever it might be, achieving it was always a huge effort. I would be tested, mentally and physically. But sheer determination got me through. Case in point – I bought a house with my now ex-husband in 2008. We had the money to buy the house, but not enough to really fix it up the way we wanted. I almost went into debt just to paint the kitchen. A year or so later, when I desperately wanted to remodel, it was a fiasco that involved putting in one floor, taking it back up, and putting in a second floor – in a matter of days and, finally, with the physical help of my stepfather (who thought my ex-husband was the biggest fucking idiot he’d ever met), we got it done. Buying the house was ridiculously easy. Making it a home was a trial by fire. In other news, it’s now in the third year of the foreclosure process and I’m stuck in credit-hell limbo.

I truly used to believe that if something wasn’t damned difficult to achieve, it couldn’t be real. Everything I’d ever wanted to do as an adult had been a struggle and effort. But a lot of my goals were built on false beliefs in what I was supposed to be doing and fear that I might miss out on something if I didn’t do something Right. Now.

I’m not a religious person, and I don’t necessarily believe in God as most people know Him. But I am a believer in the Universe. I’ve come to believe, over the years, that when you’re on the right path in life, the Universe places opportunities in front of you to help you on your path. Oh, you still have to work hard for things, put the effort in, and make it work, but if your eyes are open, the help is there for you, and the path is clear enough to travel.

The hardest decision I ever made was my divorce. I had no money, no lawyers in the family, and I wasn’t sure how cooperative he was going to be. But, as hard as it was, I knew it was right. My gut/instinct finally (for the first time in years) stopped screaming at me. When I tell you the Universe lays out the path, I mean I filed the paperwork myself, completed all the necessary worksheets (thank you, Florida, for the 100 page book just to determine child support and custody arrangements – holy hell), got all the necessary signatures, and we were divorced in six months. Don’t mess with a girl and her goal, y’all.

The second hardest decision wasn’t truly that difficult. The decision to leave behind a world I didn’t love in order to be with John Brownstone as his submissive and his partner was easy enough. Leaving behind a lucrative career (although I’d grown to hate it), taking a 75 percent pay cut to do it, and becoming financially reliant on another person for the first time in my adult life was terrifying. The Universe hasn’t made it easy – I’ve lost clients, not gotten jobs, and been ignored – you name it. But it’s been worth it. I wake up each morning, happy to get to work, doing something I love. And my goals grow by leaps and bounds.

So what kind of goals does a goal-oriented girl have?

  • Finish the To Be Read list on my Kindle that’s growing daily.
  • Write more books – there are 8 on my current list. Whenever I think of another idea, I add it to the list.
  • Write a book under my real name.
  • Start a new blog under my real name.
  • Build my business as a kinky writer for hire.
  • Start a kinky podcast, which will feature a certain someone with an excellent voice.
  • Start a kinky newsletter to share information and posts (my own and others) with those that are interested.
  • Continue to build a life with the most amazing man I’ve ever known – under our own terms, in our own way.
  • Raise two little rowdy boys into two good men. Thankfully I have help now.
  • Travel – as a family and as a pair – around the country and the world.

The list of things I want to achieve grows daily. For the first time, the goals aren’t mine alone. I’m part of a team, and my goals are his, while his goals are mine. Thankfully, we work well together. I have no doubt we’ll achieve all of this and more…together.

Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! This week’s prompt was about goals. I could write an entire book on how I feel about goals and what I do (and have done) to achieve them. I feel lost without goals. I need something to work towards and strive for. But that’s just me.

Wicked Wednesday



About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • You really don’t have quite enough to do, ya know… BTW- Did I see you have Mr Brownstone on that list of things to do? 🙂

    Goals are important, and patience is often equally so. As you stated- when you force an outcome, your gut is busy telling (or yelling) at you the whole time to take a different course, do something sooner rather than later, have patience and take no action- and gawd, that’s gotta be the toughest one… For anyone who hasn’t sat down to line some goals, start with one, and add to it, but complete one first- it’s quite amazing how good you’ll feel checking the box next to the first one you complete.

    Great WW post, miss Kayla! 🙂


    • And I’m still adding to the list. SSir and I joke that I could fill up enough to-do lists for 10 people. 🙂

      Patience has been the hardest thing to learn (surprise, surprise) but I’ve learned it’s better to sit back and let things happen naturally than to force them.

      And I agree, there is little that feels better than checking of a goal or an item on a to-do list. It’s a huge sense of accomplishment that can be a great ego booster.

  • This post really inspires me XO

    You have fabulous goals and I have no doubt you will achieve each and every one of them and so much more. When we are doing what we love any challenge that presents itself doesn’t feel like a burden, even though it may be super hard. Our perspective changes when we go after what’s in our hearts.
    Always listen to your gut.

    Do we all have way too many books on our Kindles to read? Yup!

    • ((HUGS)) Thank you!

      It’s the strangest feeling to know in every part of me that I’m on the right path…even when I have my momentary doubts because who doesn’t have doubts, right?

      And I’m adding to the damn Kindle nearly every day, lol. Damn it!

    • Aw thank you! Be careful – I’m easily susceptible to ideas that I can turn into businesses, lol. Actually, I’ve been considering starting a series of post that offers my advice on marketing, blogging, etc. But I’m not sure there’s more than a handful of people who would care.

  • After working with you last week on the condo it showed even more how driven you an be. I did find it very refreshing though.
    I am looking forward to doing the podcast with you..soon I will be off on Friday’s and that may be a good time for us to delve into that.

    • It was nice to work alongside someone who worked just as hard as I do…I’m not used to that, lol.

      The podcast is going to be AWESOME! But first, we need a name. Ha!

    • Tenacious is definitely a word I’d use to describe myself. When you find the thing that makes you feel the same way, I’m sure nothing will stop you, either. 🙂

    • Thank you! The list of things I want to do grows every day…which is a little scary, but exciting, too! If I inspire someone to go after their own goals then I’ve done something right. 🙂

  • Your gut and the universe are your guide – use them well, they will always show you the right way.

    Best of luck with everything in your future.

    Velvet x

  • We share so many similarities and I am also someone who likes having goals (and to-do lists) they help me to aspire to more and to plan and that tends to make me calm and focused


    • Yes! I worked religiously from to-do lists in my previous career and spent the first five months as a writer without one (crazy, I know). I couldn’t figure out why I was always so frazzled – and then I started a list. I became busier but everything was easier after that.

      There’s little better than crossing off things on the list, knowing you’re working towards something. 🙂

  • Thank you for this post today Kayla.

    In order to achieve all of our goals and dreams, we need to Reach out and grab what the Universe has to offer. Life is so short. And sitting back waiting for something to happen is just not an option..


  • Such excellent goals, and I can relate all too well about leaving the concept of security (though it really wasn’t) to risk pursuing your passion and happiness. I’m so glad to read of your happiness.

    • No, it wasn’t really security…it was strangulation but it’s a little scary to leave behind a comfort zone. Glad I did it, and glad others are learning to take their own leaps. For me, it’s been completely worth it. 🙂

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