Have you ever given much thought to sex workers? Is it something that’s even on your radar? To be honest, until I began to immerse myself in all things kinky and sexual, I never really thought about it.
Sure, many of us know about prostitutes, hookers, hoes, whatever term you want to use. (If you don’t, you’re probably too young to be here, and you should leave now.) And if you’re like me, you’ve seen them from the perspective of a Law and Order episode or that old series, Cops (is it still on TV?). They’re intoxicated, drugged, and victims of their pimp or circumstances. People to be pitied and protected.
But have you ever stopped to think about the myriad of people who choose sex work as a legitimate way to make a living? Until I entered the kink world, I’d never really thought about it. But as I’ve spent time on Twitter and Tumblr (Facebook doesn’t seem that safe for even kinky authors, so sex workers probably have a harder time of it), I’ve come across plenty of people who supplement their income or make their entire living from sex work.
And my mind has been opened.
Back in the day, I viewed those who made money off of sex as victims of circumstance, lack of education, whatever it might be. But now, especially as a kinkster myself, it’s about consent.
Sex trafficking victims, minors, and people used by pimps aren’t capable of giving consent or they’ve said no and been ignored. My sympathy, outrage, and concern are for them. They deserve to have the law protect them, and as a society, we should do what we can to protect them, advocate for them, and deal with the criminals who victimize them.
But for those people who choose to sell their sexual selves, in whatever form that may take, for money? I support their right to do so. For me, it’s not about morality. Consent is the key.
So what is a sex worker?
I admit, I had to look it up to make sure I wasn’t overlooking anyone – and I still might have.
Prostitutes and escorts (obviously), as well as porn and erotic models and porn actors (James Dean and Stoya are my two faves!) are clearly engaged in sex work. Phone sex operators who indulge the same kind of phone sex John Brownstone and I used to enjoy are sex workers – except they get paid. Erotic dancers and people who perform in live sex shows (those exist?!) are sex workers.
The one I see the most often, especially on social media, are the web cam sex workers, often women. This one fascinates me because sometimes you might watch them masturbate or have sex, sure. But other times, people pay to watch them brush their hair, put on make up, and just live their lives. It’s voyeurism at a level I would never have imagined people would pay for, but they do.
Sex workers around the world are starting to speak out and advocate for legal rights and protections. In some cases, people even come together and unionize. The idea is to help sex workers, legal or coerced, have protections in place. Which makes sense to me. Sex can be a dangerous business – between health concerns, issues of power, and the legal world. Considering the laws vary from country to country, if they don’t protect themselves, who will?
That got me thinking.
I write stories, as do most erotic writers and bloggers, not just to share a piece of my life, but also to get people turned on and (hopefully) to help them get off. Conceivably I make money off of (some of) my words. Sexy words in exchange for cash. Does that make me a sex worker? Gosh, I hope so.
This post was sponsored by FapShows.com. All opinions and views are my own.
Interesting post. Sex is like anything else. It only stands to reason that people would try to make money off of it.
And as long as the people participating in it want to be there, I say more power to them. 🙂
If you’re a sex worker, I’m jealous. I wanna be one too.
Well, if sex bloggers, sex writers, and erotic authors can be considered sex workers, I’m a poor one – meaning financially poor, lol. 🙂
Ok you as sex worker had me giggling but it did make me think. I’ve never really thought about phone sex operator’s or cam girls as sex workers but this post did make me think, thank you!
I never did either. We think about hookers on street corners, but in today’s world (from what I can tell), anyone who makes money off of giving sexual pleasure in some form could be considered a sex worker. If that’s an accurate definition, I’m proud to be in that number. 🙂
It only seems morally reprehensible to people because sex is involved. Selling oneself for money on a sexual levels always seems to carry a certain distasteful tone when people talk about. I also think about what it would take for me to decide that’s something I’d be willing to do. I mean, I alresdy post nudes of myself and write erotic stories, isn’t physically stripping or camming the same thing? Definitely not something I’ll judge someone else for doing
How true Cara. We all prostitute ourselves one way or another!
I agree completely.
The moral objection I have is when people are forced into it or abused for it (or during, for that matter). That is what’s reprehensible. Using sex to make money as a personal choice while being a fully consenting adult is fine by me. And because monsters walk among us, they should ALL have protection within the law.
Just a thought- the reprehensible who walk among us unidentified but then get discovered, arrested, charged, prosecuted, incarcerated then turned back out to society carry a lifetime card with them called “sex offender.” Recent changes in legislation (and ultimately, laws) sponsored by all parties in government have served to make prostitution, some “over the Internet” jobs you’ve mentioned and even innocent young adults having a crazy night out, have their lives up-ended because they too have to carry the “sex offender” card.
I don’t know of anyone whom this has happened to personally, but the morally righteous among us are thrilled about their recent victories. I feel miserable for the 19 year old woman who decided to take her top off at a bar during spring break at a wet t-shirt contest who now has to register on the sex offender web site -forever-! WTF? Now, how am I supposed to be able to tell who the predators are vs those who don’t fall in step with the morally righteous? The politicians have gotten this FUBAR, just sayin…
Great post and discussion board miss Kayla…
-Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)
Wow, I had no idea that was happening, and I didn’t even think about sex offenders. I have read stories of teenagers being labeled as such simply because they shared a nude photo of girlfriends who were underage. Is that stupid? Of course it is. Is it worthy of being labeled a predator for the rest of their lives? Doubtful.
I agree … but that’s only because I choose a set of morals that are not consistent with those that occupy a different moral high ground.
The moral high ground, from my lowly perspective, seems to be a steep cliff with no room for error – for others, not the ones who sit in judgement.
I’ve wanted to reply to your post, Kayla, for days and days. This hits my buttons, and I feel really strongly about protecting sex workers and they’re legitimate clients. I’ve wanted to write about my own experiences with sex work but haven’t because of the social stigma. My sir and I have had long discussions about revealing that part of my life, because sex workers (including pro-Dommes like the one I worked for) need to have their basic rights protected and people would much rather vilify someone like me than actually understand what happens behind closed doors. People would be so surprised about how “normal” her clients were. If sex work had protective laws, then our society would be better equipped to handle those that are forced into it against their will. (in my humble opinion) 🙂
I would love to know more about that part of your life as I find it fascinating and something new to learn. That being said, considering the response I got from total strangers for simply saying I support sex workers and their right to engage in legitimately, I can understand your hesitation. On the flipside of that coin, the only way to “normalize” anything – or at least make it part of the societal conversation is to talk about it. If you ever need a forum, my space is available to you.
And you’re right. If consensual sex work was legitimized and had it’s own set of protections, the abuse would be easier to combat – or at least be able to create legal precedent of some sort instead of painting everyone with the same brush.
You can ask me anything, sweetie pie! I just may not publish it. 🙂
[…] one woman’s story of working in gentlemen’s clubs around the world. I recently wrote about sex work (which garnered my first ever negative reaction from anyone – whoa), and a friend of mine […]