Doubts, you kinky freaks, I'm filled with doubts. What did you think the title meant? Wait, don't tell me, I can guess. 😉
Welcome to Wicked Wednesday and this week's prompt is doubts.
Between Daddy and myself, I have no doubts. I know it won't always be perfect and wonderful, but I'm not worried. We can work through anything together.
Professionally, though? I'm filled with them. My self-doubts slow me down. They keep me from writing and publishing. They stop me from marketing myself more. In my mind, I'll never be good enough, and the only way I push forward is by reminding myself that I don't need the whole world to think I'm a good writer, just a few people.
I'm pretty good at hiding my doubts. I've picked up new vanilla clients to write for, I'm working on a kinky writing project for someone. I wouldn't have that much if I allowed my doubts to show, but they are definitely there.
My doubts are fueled by the pressure I put on myself to be the best I can be, and when I see (countless) others who are better writers, I immediately withdraw and don't want to do anything because I don't think I'm good enough - or I worry someone will realize I'm not as good as they think I am.
The more I feel my doubts, the more I procrastinate and slow down. I become low energy and just want to take a nap. (Napping doesn't pay the bills!)
But then I sit down to write (because deadlines and money), and I become consumed with the topic. I forget everything as I look for the exact right way to craft a sentence and structure a paragraph. I feel good when I connect two points or find a unique way of saying the same old thing. The doubts melt away and all that's left is me...and my words.