Wicked Wednesday

I’m Filled with Them #WickedWednesday

Doubts, you kinky freaks, I’m filled with doubts. What did you think the title meant? Wait, don’t tell me, I can guess. 😉

Welcome to Wicked Wednesday and this week’s prompt is doubts.

Between Daddy and myself, I have no doubts. I know it won’t always be perfect and wonderful, but I’m not worried. We can work through anything together.

Professionally, though? I’m filled with them. My self-doubts slow me down. They keep me from writing and publishing. They stop me from marketing myself more. In my mind, I’ll never be good enough, and the only way I push forward is by reminding myself that I don’t need the whole world to think I’m a good writer, just a few people.

I’m pretty good at hiding my doubts. I’ve picked up new vanilla clients to write for, I’m working on a kinky writing project for someone. I wouldn’t have that much if I allowed my doubts to show, but they are definitely there.

My doubts are fueled by the pressure I put on myself to be the best I can be, and when I see (countless) others who are better writers, I immediately withdraw and don’t want to do anything because I don’t think I’m good enough – or I worry someone will realize I’m not as good as they think I am.

The more I feel my doubts, the more I procrastinate and slow down. I become low energy and just want to take a nap. (Napping doesn’t pay the bills!)

But then I sit down to write (because deadlines and money), and I become consumed with the topic. I forget everything as I look for the exact right way to craft a sentence and structure a paragraph. I feel good when I connect two points or find a unique way of saying the same old thing. The doubts melt away and all that’s left is me…and my words.

Wicked Wednesday

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am an erotic author, sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, an opinionated marketer, and speaker. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!

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