Daddy is always in charge. Let me be very clear about that. My little subbie heart twitterpates a bit when I think about living with one another and how our relationship will grow. I can’t wait to see just how in-charge he is in a million different ways.
Ok, so we’re clear? Daddy is in charge.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have my domain in our relationship. I have my things that I lecture, remind, and allow a very non-submissive tone of voice to creep in.
“Daddy? Did you eat breakfast yet?”
“No, babygirl, I didn’t.”
If a Dominant can have a hang-dog voice (we’re on the phone so I can’t see his face, but I can imagine it), this is it.
“Sorry, babygirl, I have a bad case of the sniffles.”
“Have you taken any allergy medicine lately?”
“Um, no, I haven’t.”
This is the point where I “hm-mmm” at him in that knowing tone.
“I haven’t slept good all week, babygirl!”
“Poor Daddy. Maybe you need your melatonin.”
“You’re probably right, babygirl.”
My favorite words, in case you wondered, are “You’re right.” And I usually am.
I think many submissives can relate to the absolute need to take care of our Dominants. Daddy takes care of me in his way, and I take care of him in my way. It’s that yin and yang thing, the completion of a circle, and the melding of two people until sometimes we feel like one.
For those of you who don’t know better, Dominance and submission (D/s) isn’t all about the Dominant barking out orders and the submissive running and fetching. We’re two people in a relationship. We take care of one another. Sometimes, when I take care of him, I don’t exactly seem very submissive. I get the knowing tone. I lecture a little. I remind him. I guilt him (not my favorite, but often effective). The only way an observer would know I’m submissive is the respectful tone I take, the fact that I don’t push, and I don’t sound like a harpy. All things, by the way, I used to do in vanilla relationships.
I know I’m right, but I also know Daddy is going to do what he wants. He knows that his well-being is very important to me. I want to keep him happy, but he wants to keep me happy, too. There’s no need for a screaming match, the silent treatment, or a rant about how I’m right and he’s not. Our entire relationship is built on something completely different.
If you think you can’t “tell” a Dominant what to do, think again. I tell him to eat, take his medicine, and get rest all the time. The difference between this and previous relationships (other than the fact that we’re a damn good match) is that he and I both know and accept that he’s going to do whatever he wants. There’s no hard feelings if he doesn’t do what I think he should. He’ll take care of himself because he knows it makes me happy. And a happy babygirl makes for a very happy Daddy.
I love taking care of DMW, making sure he eats breakfast, has enough coffee, gets to the gym….. Ahem…. Sir?? Let’s get going…:)
See? It’s not just me!
I have to drag him there but he likes it once he overcomes the inertia 🙂
Everyone needs someone to look out for them and you seem to be doing a great job 😉
I try – stubborn man doesn’t always listen. LOL
Do you think that maybe a Dom not eating or taking care of himself is being bratty because they love when we lavish love on them? I never thought about it this way but, our serving brings them joy and maybe they are to macho to ask when they need more. What is your opinion?
In different circumstances, I might say that’s possible. Recently, it’s been more about how busy he is, and those things aren’t important to him like they are to me.
I understand. I always pack hubby’s breakfast and lunch to make sure he eats healthy. I set out his meds for him every night because left on his own I know he would never take them. His health and well being are top priority to me.
I see me doing this in the very near future – for the same reasons.
Wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not a chore or a bother it is instinctive. My friends make fun of me or roll their eyes. To me it just feels right. You will be doing this and I’m sure you will feel the same joy that I do.
My family doesn’t bat an eye…that could be because it’s also a southern tradition that women take care of their men. I never did it with my ex-husband (for good reasons), but it’s sort of “normal” in my family.
Lol. I felt guilty about continuing these practices but NO MORE! Giggle. If I didn’t take care of him and remind him, no one else would. I think he secretly likes it. And Peep, I have to do the same about the gym. 😉 however, once there, he blows me away.
LOL Angel, I’m a bit of a taskmaster at the gym…:)
I think they do all secretly like it. 🙂
Telling my Sir what to do can sometimes be a challenge…. Guess I just need to get better at making him think it was his idea! ;D
Hugs lady! Mynx
I just make this noise in the back of my throat (of disapproval) and say, “Yes, Daddy” in a tone that shows I clearly don’t agree. And then I leave it at that. He’s going to do what he wants to do – but I will let me know my opinion.
As you said, Kayla, with a respectful tone, we can serve while we nurture. Soft reminders are another way to show caring, love, and devotion.
I agree completely. And it’s all about the tone. ((HUGS))
For myself I can honestly say that it is not about the attention. More so lately then ever I have had a lot to do and stil more over the next couple of weeks. When I begin working on a project I become focued on it. Almost like bit like being in Dom space though a lesser form.
When I do that I lose track of time, Kayla knows me well enough and pulls me back reminding me of the things I need to do to take care of me.
If you aren’t going to take care of yourself, SOMEONE has to…I’m happy it’s me…because I’ll cut a bitch who think she can do it for you…um, but I’m not the jealous type. /giggles
ROFL!!! I say stuff like “cut a bitch” to Daddy all the time about imaginary women who MIGHT be thinking they would be in my place. He cracks up every time.
Yep, me too. Grrrrr, they better stay away from my Daddy!
Exactly. Sluts. And not the good kind like us.
Damn dirty sluts. And yeah, we’re the BEST kind of sluts. LOL
I love this and you gave such a wonderful example of how this dynamic operates in the real world. I’m good at nurturing and Coach knows that and even expects me to “take a lead” in making sure he’s healthy and has what he needs. He has great responsibility on his shoulders and it’s too easy for him to forget somethings or feel overwhelmed at times. I help raise his arms up during times of need the same way he helps me. We each give our best to the other.
“We give our best to each other.” That’s it right there. Vanilla or kink, if ALL relationships operated under this premise, I think there would be a lot more happy people in this world.
Babygirl you have one thing that these others you speak of don’t….you girl you have my heart and soul.
Someone has to say it…..
awwwwsw ya’all are just so cute!
/giggles. We try so hard not to be…
I agree PP…. They go from cute to cuter! Can’t imagine what they will be like when together 24/7! But looking forward to finding out! 😀
We’re going to be steamy HAWT and the kinky fuckery is going to be insane! And we’ll probably be cute, too. /sigh
Cute with a big side of kinky fuckery coming up in 12 days 😉
Yes you will be fucking cute then! Hahaha! 😀
/blush. And you have mine, Daddy.
Mynx, it’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking anything when I read this as I was laughing so hard 🙂
Always happy to add some humor Sir! ;D
I think that should be a blog post title: WE’RE FUCKING CUTE
I think you’re quite right. 🙂
I fucking love it PP! 😀 lolol!
11. sftswtfem says:
May 25, 2014 at 10:28 pm
I think that should be a blog post title: WE’RE FUCKING CUTE
Lol!!! I couldn’t agree more.
Can’t wait to glitter bomb when it happens.
[…] You already know I don’t consider submission a sign of weakness. And I’ve admitted before that sometimes I have to take charge of a situation. […]