Every strong relationship I’ve seen in the Dominance and submission (D/s) lifestyle has one thing in common – strong, clear communication. Every single one of them.
Sure, early in the relationship, there are fears about hurt feelings or anger. Most of those concerns are left over from a vanilla lifestyle that didn’t require (although it should have) the same amount of communication. Over time, though, successful relationships found ways to overcome those fears.
Here I am, less than a full year in a relationship, and I can feel a lot of the old “vanilla” ways of communicating slipping away. What’s left behind is a sense of being completely in tune with Daddy. I can sense his moods. I can read his body language. Even when he’s not speaking to me, he’s communicating with me. I have no doubt that the reverse is true for him, as well.
The other side of the coin is that, while the dynamics of our relationship require a certain protocol and respect, I can say whatever I need to say to him. Sometimes, what I have to say isn’t necessarily what he wants to hear.
“You’re holding back, you know. I can tell.” He gave me a confused look. “You don’t have to be afraid of your sadistic side.”
That’s when his eyebrows shot up in his forehead.
We’d been in a scene, and things had felt…off. His hands on my body felt as good as always. His teeth were as sharp as always. His cock hit all the right spots – as always. But something wasn’t right.
I wanted more, much more. The past few days had been too vanilla. We’d had no time for each other in between errands, children, and chores. I’d felt selfish for wanting more of The Beast (Daddy’s sadistic side). I kept telling myself that he’s in charge, and when he wanted The Beast to emerge, he would allow him out to play. The set of his shoulders was off, though. The force behind his hand was’t weaker, but not as stern. When we were done, and I knew the scene was over, I called him out on it.
“You know I have a safeword. If you go too far, I’ll use it.” He nodded his understanding, but he was quieter than normal. I didn’t let his silence stop me. “Daddy, I’m a masochist. I adore your sadistic side. Please stop holding back!” We spoke a few minutes more, and he promised he wouldn’t hold back in the future. He kept his word and gave me a brutal spanking the next day. It was delicious!
My point is simple. I may be the submissive in the relationship, but I have opinions, and I have a right to share them. Sometimes, what I need to say is for his own good. Even Dominants need reminders and reassurances.
Anyone in a relationship, especially a D/s relationship, should feel they can say what they need to say. As with anything, there is a proper time and place, but the last thing a submissive should fear is telling their Dominant the truth – about anything.