He Does Dishes #Dominance and #Submission

It was a lazy Sunday – the kind where he woke me up to fuck me and then let me sleep until nearly 10am. The kind of lazy Sunday where I sat at the kitchen table in my pajamas all day at the laptop. The kind of lazy day where he encouraged me to take a break from work to read in bed. And the same kind of day where I came downstairs to start dinner and get back to work, and I realized that he’d done dishes (a task, I’m learning, that never seems to end).

Of all the things he does for me and to me, that’s the thing that brought tears to my eyes. That’s the thing that made my heart swell even more. That’s the thing that makes it easy to want to make him happy – because he wants to make me happy.

Ironically, the book I’d been reading before the tear-induced dishes episode was one of the many Carpathian novels by Christine Feehan (one of my all-time favorite authors). Before I knew what Dominance and submission (D/s) even was, I liked her Dominant male characters who often learn they have an ooey-gooey center when it comes to the women they love, their lifemates. I always wanted that depth of passion and ferocity – and the ooey-gooey love, too. Even before I knew who and what I was, even when I was still in a shitty marriage – I knew I wanted that feeling.

And, in our own real-world, not an erotic novel kind of way, we have it.

He strokes my hair just because he can. He sits next to me at the kitchen table, doing research on future plans we’ve briefly discussed or little things one of us as mentioned. He sends me upstairs to read, even when I call myself a slacker for it. And then he does the dishes.

Don’t be mistaken about who and what we are.

He leaves bruises from the riding crop while I suck his cock. He bites so hard sometimes I shriek in pain more than pleasure. He fucks me with one hand wrapped in my hair, and the other wrapped around my throat.

This is our version of D/s. While it’s different for everyone, the key to long-lasting, successful relationship (in my humble and relatively new) opinion is that both Dominant and submissive want to make the other happy. And sometimes, it’s as simple as washing a few dishes.

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • So true. Focusing on the other’s happiness makes our relationship better. It’s not 50-50 but 100% in on both sides. It makes our D/s work but it also makes our marriage flourish.

    And Feehan? One of my favs too. I must have 30 of her novels by my bedside this very moment!!!!!

    • I read a very vanilla post several weeks ago (no clue where to find it now) about marriage – or any relationship – only working when you do everything you can for the other person and that you remember it’s not about what you get, it’s what you give. I thought that made complete sense – especially in a D/s context.

      I don’t buy actual books very much anymore – I either go to the library or use my Kindle – and she has been my go-to author lately. Her and Sherrilyn Kenyon.

  • So erotic, yes, this. It’s the simple things – yes, even the same simple things which you sub’s do which drives us Dom’s wild. A flip of the hair, a giggle, a look, a smirk, the way you cross your arms- or your legs -while preparing dinner or drawing the blinds…. I think they call it love? 🙂

  • Smile… So many little but very endearing things you are discovering about each other. Lovely.

  • Kayla you have a lifetime to discover new and wonderful things about each other! Most of them will be little things that you keep to yourselves, that make you smile, when you think of them.

  • Kayla, after 30 wonderful years it’s still the little things that mean the most. Smoothing out the blanket to make the bed extra neat, making sure the living room looks just the way I like or my favorite of all, fixing my morning coffee exactly the way I like it. D/s is one part but, a loving, caring, giving relationship is what it is in it’s purest form. You deserve it. Enjoy every little, sweet moment.

    • It’s strange, after so many years without it, to have someone care about the little things that make me happy. He’s doing a damn fine job, that’s for sure. 🙂

    • In our house that really WOULD be love…Daddy made it clear from the very beginning that he doesn’t do bathrooms. I said that’s fine – I don’t do bugs and home repair. 🙂

  • While I have done dishes, while Arianna was sick, it is not a common practice in our home.
    The other day after almost 2 years in the house I had to ask Arianna where the Bath towels were.

    • It’s definitely not something that’s become a habit of his, and I’m ok with that. It’s the fact that in a moment where what I needed was a break, he gave it to me. 🙂

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