I feel like I’ve returned from the land of the dead and dying. Being sick sucks. I’m not 100 percent yet, but I feel so good by comparison that I’m almost a new woman. Actually, I feel like a little girl.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my little side. She is definitely there. I’ve talked about her before. She’s not new. Lately, I’ve been letting myself feel little when the need arises. I haven’t done anything particularly little lately, but I sit in that head space, rolling it around a bit, getting comfortable with it. I still can’t imagine calling someone Daddy, but I’ve thought it.
My little side likes fairies. Loves them in fact. That may need to be one of my next tattoos.
When I feel little, I notice pink…and tutus. I saw a little girl in the McDonald’s play area tonight wearing a hot pink tutu and wanted one so bad. I wouldn’t look nearly as cute as her, but I still wanted one. The sexual little in me would take a black tutu, as well, or purple.
I always equate feeling little with feeling ultra feminine, very girly. Tomorrow I’m doing the girliest thing I know to do as a grown woman. I’m getting my nails and hair done.
Ok, that’s not a powerful statement to most people, but as the mother of two boys, any day I don’t have snot, dirt, grime, or something a little questionable on me, is a good day. Can you imagine how this feels?! I’m paying for the luxury of being pampered – while I pay for the luxury of having someone watch my children. Ahhhhh…my little side is very happy.
I think I want a teddy bear, too. I can’t imagine buying one, though – too many other necessary things to purchase, but like my indulgence tomorrow, maybe I should throw caution to the wind.
But if I find myself a teddy bear, you should know that I will curl up and watch Disney movies, cradling it in my arms, living for just a few moments in my little girl head space…while I admire my pretty toes and twirl my hair around my fingers.