Don’t Freak Out When You Argue in Your D/s Relationship

The other day John Brownstone and I got into a heated back and forth, and by the end of the conversation, he was pissed off at me. My feelings were hurt, but he was angry. Like seeing red angry.


He ended the conversation with just a few words, and none of them were sweet or nice. Now before anyone gets their panties in a bunch (assuming anyone in this crowd is even wearing panties), he was never rude or nasty. He just more stern Dominant than Daddy Dominant.

And I got to thinking…do we (and by “we” I mean “the BDSM community”) spend much time talking about arguments and disagreements in D/s relationships? Or do we all assume that Dominants have such total control that arguments just don’t happen?

Well, y’all, they do, and of course, a podcast episode was born. (Because that’s how I roll.)

This one is for those who freak out during their first (or second) argument – don’t worry, you’re not alone, I did, too. And for those who haven’t gone through it yet…don’t worry, you will.

From the show:

  • Arguments and disagreements are completely normal.
  • It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.
  • It doesn’t mean you’re not a good submissive or a good Dominant.
  • I believe there are three “truths” to most arguments in a D/s relationship.
  • 24/7 D/s relationships will likely handle their arguments and disagreements much differently than bedroom only D/s and even Master/slave relationships.
  • Both submissives and Dominants will react differently to arguments and disagreements. The key is communication.
  • If something doesn’t work for you in your D/s relationship, you need to talk about it with each other.

Listen to the show:

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About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!

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