(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)
Subspace – the great unknown, even for someone who has experienced it. If I promise I’m almost done, will you stick with me here? After this part, I think I only have one part left. Sir and I spoke on the phone about this, and He gave me His perspective, which helps. And He filled in some of the missing gaps for me. Our scene really ended once this happened, but it is still part of the moment…
Splayed on the bed, my limbs felt heavy. I could not move, and I had no desire to move. Despite the weighted feeling, I was relaxed. My bones were jelly. I looked at my Sir, and I knew He spoke to me. My brain refused to focus.
I looked past Him and a random thought entered my mind. Like Alice and the rabbit hole, I followed it. I have no memory of it now, but I do remember watching the picture my thought created as if I was watching TV. It was a picture in front of my eyes. I wish I could say it was some spectacular part of the scene that I was revisiting. Knowing me, it was probably something much more mundane.
As if from a great distance, I heard Sir.
“Can you hear me? Where did you go, pet? Come back to me.”
I blinked. Slowly, I became aware of my surroundings.
“Hello, Sir.” I tried to smile at him.
“Hello, pet. Where did you go?”
“I don’t know, Sir.”
He told me later that He knew something was wrong because my eyes glazed over completely. It was clear to Him I saw and heard nothing.
He continued talking to me, encouraging to me get up, to come back to Him.
I wanted to do as He asked. The heavy, relaxed, mindless feeling would not leave me. Devoid of all conscious thought, I also wanted nothing more than to lay still on the bed and drift. I felt like I was floating on water, gently drifting and bobbing.
He persisted. Every time I felt myself wander, He called to me.
“Come back to me, pet. Look at me.”
I forced myself to do as He wanted. I had no energy nor desire to do anything. I wanted to continue drifting.
Using gentle pressure, He forced me up and out of the bed. I needed to use the bathroom, and He walked me to the door. He stood at the door, and I looked at Him in confusion.
“You can NOT come in here with me!” All D/s forgotten in that moment.
“I will stand outside this door – you might need me.”
I looked at him, concerned at my loss of privacy. I shut the door.
“Don’t lock it, pet. If something happens, I need to be able to get to you.”
Knowing He stood right outside the door made it hard to pee. I sat there for a moment, still drifting. And then the shaking began. My hands trembled, my legs quivered, and I became nervous. What was happening to me?
I stumbled out of the bathroom and into His arms.
“I can’t stop shaking, Sir.” My jaw, my hands, my body shook.
He wrapped His arms around me, guiding me to the bed, offering me water.
He spoke soft, soothing words, probably wonderful sweet nothings, but I don’t remember them. I know I no longer wanted to drift; I wanted to stop shaking.
I’m very fuzzy after this point. Clearly, I came out of it and we continued with our evening, but I don’t know exactly what happened next. My Sir told me that I was the first submissive to ever go that deep with Him. I think it might have made Him nervous, but He never showed it. He took wonderful care of me, of that I’m sure. This moment was my third time in subspace – twice before had been much less intense but still very real, and I was easily pulled out of it. As bad as subdrop was, I look forward to subspace again because in order to get there, some amazing things have to happen first.
Beautiful!! Thank you for sharing.
Awww, thank you for reading it!
You went there as a result of a light spanking….you had taken much more during the course of ths night, but I think it was just a culmination….that you slipped over the edge.
You found a place many subs have never been…..I am so glad that I was there and that I could bring you back pet.
I’m glad you were there, too, Sir…damn grateful…
I only wish I had the courage to ask my Sir the details, fill in the blanks, of our first night last Wednesday! You write beautifully! Thank you!
Every relationship is different, so I offer no judgments, but I could not be with my Sir if I couldn’t talk to Him about anything and everything…the only courage I need is to try something new or to ask for something He previously said no about…please find the courage and just ask your Sir…
Heavy sighs. I am happy for all of you. 🙂
Maybe one day I will get to go there again.
This is my favorite part of WIITWD – aftercaring my Leigh while she floats away, adrift on herself, drunk on the biology of the moment. In a few instances her version of Hyde have peeked out and interacted with me. But typically she is just Bliss.
That is what I drink up. That is what sends me into Topspace.
I mused about all of this here http://thedomnextdoor.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/a-humble-02-on-subspace/ and ironically it may also explain your need to piss as well!
Bliss is the perfect word for it…it’s my new favorite drug…
There is a poem in you – Bliss. Don’t ask me how I know this. I’m empathic. But its in there. I can feel it. Let the words flow….trust me.
I will keep that in mind…maybe not tonight, but I won’t forget…and I will do just that…
sounds amazing!!! thanks for sharing!
It was definitely amazing…