Just before John Brownstone and I moved in together, we renegotiated our entire relationship. We were going from long distance D/s to a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle. There was a lot to talk about.
Much of the discussion centered around the tasks, rules, and expectations he had for me. I knew some of it was for his own kinky pleasure, but most of it was to help me feel submissive even when the outside world interfered or to help me accomplish all the things I wanted to do. Basically, he was doing his job of keeping me strong, helping me succeed, and any other self-improvement I might have wanted to work towards.
But what about him? How could I help him when life got rough for him? How could I help him find his Dominant nature when the outside world interfered? It was important to me that I have a certain amount of freedom to speak firmly - when he needed it - without being seen as disrespectful.
The Tough Love clause was born.
When he's sick, stressed, overwhelmed, or simply not functioning at full capacity and it's threatening to harm him, his well-being, or our relationship, I get to speak up. It's been in force a lot over the past few months, so it was time to talk about it in a podcast.
Check out this week's episode to learn how we make it work for us, why it requires complete trust, and what makes it different from nagging.
From this week's episode:
- The Tough Love clause was part of the renegotiations when Kayla and John moved in together.
- Dominants work hard to take care of their submissive, especially when a submissive may resist the help.
- How can a submissive help a Dominant in the same way? Kayla's idea: the Tough Love clause.
- The Tough Love clause allows a submissive to tell a Dominant hard truths about their care and well-being.
- She asked, he agreed.
- It comes down to trust.
- The Tough Love clause is used only as necessary
- His sister's death: Lessons Learned from Grief, Chaos, and Love
- Medical issues
- Work and life stress
- The Tough Love clause isn't nagging, harping, or making someone feel bad. It's done out of love but must be used carefully.
- Ultimately, the decision remains his.
P.S. If you enjoy the show and you listen on iTunes, please leave a review! And always feel free to share this post or the episode post if you like what you hear. With your help we can make our baby podcast grow into a toddler podcast (without the tantrums, lol).
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