I see plenty of opinions and statements about how a Dominant helps their submissive realize who she is, reach her potential, grow, and mature.
All of that is true from my perspective. I would never have had the courage to quit my job, start working from home, and pick up my family and move across the state if it hadn't been for the love and support of my Daddy. I wouldn't be a woman who can walk confidently in the world, not caring what anyone thinks of me if I hadn't realized I only want one person's approval - and I have it. But there's another side to this story.
Submissives make our Dominants better, too.
Whether you've been married to your Dominant for 20 years and only moved into the lifestyle a minute ago, or you're like me, and dominance and submission has been a part of your relationship from the beginning, you help your Dominant improve themselves just by being their submissive. The further Daddy and I move along in our relationship, the more I see his dominance growing in other facets of his life. By giving him power, I give him confidence.
Now, when his bosses (yes, multiple) come at his department with yet another demand, another request, another cutback, another something, he speaks up. He knows that he'll have to do what his bosses require, but they will know where he stands on the issue. He's not afraid to say something, to let them know what their demands are doing to the overall department - and he's not even the most senior person.
It extends to everything.
There was a time when Daddy would talk to his family, and walk away from the conversation with his jaw clenched and his eyes rolling back in his head. That still happens, but now I hear, "Stop. Just stop. This is what we're going to do instead..."
I often wonder if his family thinks he's lost his mind or if they wonder what I've done to him. His confidence in speaking up and speaking out grows more each day. After too many years in relationships and situations where he felt he had no control or where his Dominance would have been considered immoral, now he is able to embrace this part of who he is.
A good relationship makes all parties better people.
No, it's not really a kink or lifestyle thing versus a vanilla thing. In a good relationship, both parties help the other grow. I just see the differences most starkly in D/s. In the beginning, Daddy was Dominant only with me, only when it was the two of us, most often, only when we were alone. Now, by trusting him and helping him learn to trust himself, his Dominance shows in every day situations.
He's firm with my boys (because God knows they need that right now). He has this way of speaking quietly but firmly and the obnoxious people of the world back down. He gets this look on his face that lets you know he's done with whatever your silliness may be - and people stop. He carries himself in such a way that he oozes confidence more and more each day.
I know he takes special pride in the fact that strangers look at us and seem to think, "How did that happen?" I'm not the most beautiful or the sexiest woman in the world, but I am definitely younger, and I clearly adore him. I cater to him everywhere we go, and I defer to him in all things in public. The more I submit, even in the most innocent ways, the more his dominance grows. At the end of the day, I think that's what submissives do for our Dominants. We submit - and from that, we both grow.