I see plenty of opinions and statements about how a Dominant helps their submissive realize who she is, reach her potential, grow, and mature.
All of that is true from my perspective. I would never have had the courage to quit my job, start working from home, and pick up my family and move across the state if it hadn’t been for the love and support of my Daddy. I wouldn’t be a woman who can walk confidently in the world, not caring what anyone thinks of me if I hadn’t realized I only want one person’s approval – and I have it. But there’s another side to this story.
Submissives make our Dominants better, too.
Whether you’ve been married to your Dominant for 20 years and only moved into the lifestyle a minute ago, or you’re like me, and dominance and submission has been a part of your relationship from the beginning, you help your Dominant improve themselves just by being their submissive. The further Daddy and I move along in our relationship, the more I see his dominance growing in other facets of his life. By giving him power, I give him confidence.
Now, when his bosses (yes, multiple) come at his department with yet another demand, another request, another cutback, another something, he speaks up. He knows that he’ll have to do what his bosses require, but they will know where he stands on the issue. He’s not afraid to say something, to let them know what their demands are doing to the overall department – and he’s not even the most senior person.
It extends to everything.
There was a time when Daddy would talk to his family, and walk away from the conversation with his jaw clenched and his eyes rolling back in his head. That still happens, but now I hear, “Stop. Just stop. This is what we’re going to do instead…”
I often wonder if his family thinks he’s lost his mind or if they wonder what I’ve done to him. His confidence in speaking up and speaking out grows more each day. After too many years in relationships and situations where he felt he had no control or where his Dominance would have been considered immoral, now he is able to embrace this part of who he is.
A good relationship makes all parties better people.
No, it’s not really a kink or lifestyle thing versus a vanilla thing. In a good relationship, both parties help the other grow. I just see the differences most starkly in D/s. In the beginning, Daddy was Dominant only with me, only when it was the two of us, most often, only when we were alone. Now, by trusting him and helping him learn to trust himself, his Dominance shows in every day situations.
He’s firm with my boys (because God knows they need that right now). He has this way of speaking quietly but firmly and the obnoxious people of the world back down. He gets this look on his face that lets you know he’s done with whatever your silliness may be – and people stop. He carries himself in such a way that he oozes confidence more and more each day.
I know he takes special pride in the fact that strangers look at us and seem to think, “How did that happen?” I’m not the most beautiful or the sexiest woman in the world, but I am definitely younger, and I clearly adore him. I cater to him everywhere we go, and I defer to him in all things in public. The more I submit, even in the most innocent ways, the more his dominance grows. At the end of the day, I think that’s what submissives do for our Dominants. We submit – and from that, we both grow.
Oh, what a wonderful gift you give one another. Yes, it’s true in vanilla relationships too, but it is more noticeable in the D/s life. Though M and I do not live together, I have also seen changes in Him…little things He does that I know I had a role in. (Helps to balance the scales a bit since He’s given me so much!)
Thanks for this. It made me smile.
Yay I made you smile! 😀
Yes Kayla, I’ve seen this happen with DMW, it’s a continual process.We are both still growing 🙂
Amazing to watch, isn’t it? 🙂
I know you can’t see my smile, but it’s a big one. 🙂 You describe the D/s dynamic beautifully as it should be in a healthy relationship. It also makes me so happy to hear/see that your lives together are going well. Our relationship is D/s lite, but it’s there like a fine thread. It resonates to what you wrote. Your Daddy is such a dear friend and Wolf and I are so delighted that the two of you have a wonderful relationship.
((HUGS)) Thank you. And you can’t see it, but I’m smiling in return. We fit together. We work. Life isn’t perfect but it’s damn beautiful. 🙂
I see that all over the place in Mr. HH too. I’m makes me so happy.
It’s sort of amazing to watch.
Over the time we have been together I have noticed my own growth along with yours. It has been a wonderful feeling and I have also noticed along with it a lot of the stress I used to feel has been slipping away.
((HUGS)) Like I said, we make each other better.
Isn’t it the most beautiful journey? To see growth in such a way is what we all want. I will tell you from experience that D/s seems to fast forward that growth (as you’ve experienced) because of the upfront honesty and truth that must be there. Coach and I have seen more growth the last almost 3 years than we have in all our years together before (a total of 27 years).
You said it perfectly – “The more I submit, even in the most innocent ways, the more his dominance grows. At the end of the day, I think that’s what submissives do for our Dominants. We submit – and from that, we both grow.”
I think you’re right – it does speed things up. Communication is the key.
That brought tears to my eyes Kayla. Totally beautiful and heartfelt. As always, you give me hope for how a relationship can be…. hope for what I can have and be a part of one day.
I think anyone who wants this kind of relationship can have it…it just takes time, patience, and lots and LOTS of communication. ((HUGS))
Your so right Kayla…. Our submission feeds their Dominance. And it’s a beautiful thing to watch grow!
It is indeed. 😀
Hear, hear. Indeed one often forgets a relation has to work in both ways and even more in our lifestyle.
🙂 I’m glad you agree, Sir!