It was a lazy Sunday – the kind where he woke me up to fuck me and then let me sleep until nearly 10am. The kind of lazy Sunday where I sat at the kitchen table in my pajamas all day at the laptop. The kind of lazy day where he encouraged me to take a break from work to read in bed. And the same kind of day where I came downstairs to start dinner and get back to work, and I realized that he’d done dishes (a task, I’m learning, that never seems to end).
Of all the things he does for me and to me, that’s the thing that brought tears to my eyes. That’s the thing that made my heart swell even more. That’s the thing that makes it easy to want to make him happy – because he wants to make me happy.
Ironically, the book I’d been reading before the tear-induced dishes episode was one of the many Carpathian novels by Christine Feehan (one of my all-time favorite authors). Before I knew what Dominance and submission (D/s) even was, I liked her Dominant male characters who often learn they have an ooey-gooey center when it comes to the women they love, their lifemates. I always wanted that depth of passion and ferocity – and the ooey-gooey love, too. Even before I knew who and what I was, even when I was still in a shitty marriage – I knew I wanted that feeling.
And, in our own real-world, not an erotic novel kind of way, we have it.
He strokes my hair just because he can. He sits next to me at the kitchen table, doing research on future plans we’ve briefly discussed or little things one of us as mentioned. He sends me upstairs to read, even when I call myself a slacker for it. And then he does the dishes.
Don’t be mistaken about who and what we are.
He leaves bruises from the riding crop while I suck his cock. He bites so hard sometimes I shriek in pain more than pleasure. He fucks me with one hand wrapped in my hair, and the other wrapped around my throat.
This is our version of D/s. While it’s different for everyone, the key to long-lasting, successful relationship (in my humble and relatively new) opinion is that both Dominant and submissive want to make the other happy. And sometimes, it’s as simple as washing a few dishes.