Daddy is always in charge. Let me be very clear about that. My little subbie heart twitterpates a bit when I think about living with one another and how our relationship will grow. I can't wait to see just how in-charge he is in a million different ways.
Ok, so we're clear? Daddy is in charge.
That doesn't mean I don't have my domain in our relationship. I have my things that I lecture, remind, and allow a very non-submissive tone of voice to creep in.
"Daddy? Did you eat breakfast yet?"
"No, babygirl, I didn't."
If a Dominant can have a hang-dog voice (we're on the phone so I can't see his face, but I can imagine it), this is it.
"Sorry, babygirl, I have a bad case of the sniffles."
"Have you taken any allergy medicine lately?"
"Um, no, I haven't."
This is the point where I "hm-mmm" at him in that knowing tone.
"I haven't slept good all week, babygirl!"
"Poor Daddy. Maybe you need your melatonin."
"You're probably right, babygirl."
My favorite words, in case you wondered, are "You're right." And I usually am.
I think many submissives can relate to the absolute need to take care of our Dominants. Daddy takes care of me in his way, and I take care of him in my way. It's that yin and yang thing, the completion of a circle, and the melding of two people until sometimes we feel like one.
For those of you who don't know better, Dominance and submission (D/s) isn't all about the Dominant barking out orders and the submissive running and fetching. We're two people in a relationship. We take care of one another. Sometimes, when I take care of him, I don't exactly seem very submissive. I get the knowing tone. I lecture a little. I remind him. I guilt him (not my favorite, but often effective). The only way an observer would know I'm submissive is the respectful tone I take, the fact that I don't push, and I don't sound like a harpy. All things, by the way, I used to do in vanilla relationships.
I know I'm right, but I also know Daddy is going to do what he wants. He knows that his well-being is very important to me. I want to keep him happy, but he wants to keep me happy, too. There's no need for a screaming match, the silent treatment, or a rant about how I'm right and he's not. Our entire relationship is built on something completely different.
If you think you can't "tell" a Dominant what to do, think again. I tell him to eat, take his medicine, and get rest all the time. The difference between this and previous relationships (other than the fact that we're a damn good match) is that he and I both know and accept that he's going to do whatever he wants. There's no hard feelings if he doesn't do what I think he should. He'll take care of himself because he knows it makes me happy. And a happy babygirl makes for a very happy Daddy.