Sex Writing

Where in the (Virtual) World I’ve Been

gif of 1991 Carmen Sandiego wearing red coat, red hat and hair waving in the breeze

Image via Giphy

When I first considered writing this post, I heard only one thing in my head: the Carmen Sandiego theme song (the original one). Not because I’ve gone anywhere (hellooooo, the plague is outside – and we’ve determined I’m an indoor cat even in the best of times) but because I feel like I’m everywhere…except here.

And while an official announcement isn’t required to publish a blog post after several months, I thought I should maybe (finally) say something while letting you know where I’ve actually been all this time.

I’m afraid to say that I plan to blog more regularly because what if I don’t. But I will admit it’s my intention to be here more regularly, so that’s gotta count for something.

Loving BDSM

Loving BDSM continues to go strong. We just published our 255th podcast episode, the YouTube channel surpassed 4500 subscribers a few days ago, and we reached a major milestone with our kinky patrons on Patreon — which necessitate creating even more content. Just not here.

What is Loving BDSM? A podcast, YouTube channel, website, and community where we help kinksters have happy, healthy power exchange relationships.


The Smutlancers has gone through a few changes in the past several months. We’ve put the podcast on an indefinite hiatus, and we’ve worked with even more writers to publish even more content. But I’m also attempting to blog there more often and spend more time within the Smutlancers Community

What is Smutlancers? A site to help people who want to get paid for the adult content they create. We specialize in helping writers — freelancers, bloggers, authors — but content is content, and some of our experiences help other types of content creators, too.

Obscene Ideas

Obscene Ideas, the baby I had with work-wife and fabulous human Molly Moore, continues to grow and develop. Our second book of writing prompts came out in early 2021, and the next release is currently slated for April. Why don’t I mention that more? Fuck if I know, but I’m fixing that very soon. For regular blog readers, this will become very obvious, very quickly. Consider this a commercial break: If you struggle with what to write or where to take your writing, try one of our writing prompt books. Currently available: 31 Days of Erotic Fiction and 31 Days of Self Reflection.

What is Obscene Ideas? Our answer to two questions we get a lot: “What should I write about?” and “How do I stay consistent as a writer?”. We write and sell digital writing prompt books that help all writers, but especially adult content creators, publish consistently.

The Kinkery

You’re not supposed to have a favorite child, but rules are made to be broken. My favorite of all the creative projects in my life, The Kinkery launched at the end of October 2020 and we’re loving every second of it. John Brownstone has a ton of ideas for new types of paddles and other hitty toys, and he continues to make fan favorites. Even better (from my perspective) he’s also given me my own “section” of the site to launch my own products — coming soon!

What is the Kinkery? An online shop where we sell BDSM toys and “other peculiar oddities” made by John Brownstone. He’s a kinky woodturner with a love of weapons of ass destruction. 

It all makes perfect sense why I haven’t been around, but I felt like it needed to be said. As I’m shit at self-promotion and I hate just popping back up out of nowhere with zero explanation, I thought this would be a good time to mention the other things I’ve been doing. Plus, you’re probably going to hear more about all of these as we go along, so…yeah, here I am. Trying to get back to my roots a bit.

Did you stop doing, walk away from, or benignly “neglect” anything in 2020? Are you coming back to it in 2021? Feel free to share a bit in the comments!

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • I seem to have walked away from most things blog and kink related over the past few years. Not completely sure why but I’m finding my way back now finally, I think. I’ve posted more so far this year than the past two, possibly three, years combined. It feels good. I think being so deathly ill (Fuck you covid!!) at the end of 2020 helped me put a few things in perspective and allowed me to get back to doing more things I enjoy. Hopefully that continues.

  • yep. i sure have. this blog i have is one of them. and while i’m like you in the regards that i have been elsewhere in the virtual world, i hope to come back and blog some more cuz i miss it.

  • Once again, I’m in fucking AWE of how many projects you have and how much content you create. I don’t think anyone could be surprised that you’ve been blogging here less when you’ve been working on so many other things – though I kinda want to ask how blogging more here might help you in your mission to switch from making the majority of your money as a freelancer writer to as Kayla Lords the Brand and Bad Ass Who Works For Herself Not Clients? (Hi, hello, yes: I will continue to pop up and ask Smutlancer-y questions on ALL of your content. Sorry…)

    For me, 2020 had me taking a HUGE step back from my own blogging due to my mental illness shit, exacerbated by the global pandemic that we’re still fucking *in* a whole year later. (And, for me at least, not “fucking in” – I last touched another human in September!) I’d like to write and publish more on my blog in 2021 – as you know, I’m far from short on ideas! – but I am trying to leave behind my unhealthy, unrealistic ‘thou must publish three blog posts a week’ rule behind in 2020.

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