Masturbation Monday

Awkward Conversations #MasturbationMonday

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This week, I’m at my mom’s house, visiting and still working. It’s the first visit since I told my mom I write about sex for a living, host a podcast, and basically tell people what I think about sex…and kink. She took it (and continues to handle it) surprisingly well. My big fear was how my stepdad would react (he’s not the most open-minded person).

Apparently, he’s fairly impressed because, as he said, “Sex sells.” Well…yeah, sometimes, kind of, it’s complicated. We’ve been in town a few days, and it took him 72 hours to ask questions.

I was prepared for the awkward questions: What kind of sex do you talk about? Why? Do you use sex toys?  I was not at all prepared for his easy acceptance of it.

He assumed I wrote fiction – I corrected him. He worried I didn’t have a real job – I corrected him. He wanted to know my plans for the future – I didn’t stop talking for ten minutes, at least. (Oh, and yes, I told them I use and talk about sex toys.)

It was an illuminating and awkward and refreshing conversation about sex and business that I never thought I could have with my family. A day or two before, my aunt asked if I’d heard about the Teen Vogue anal sex article (and controversy) and wanted to know what I thought. And then she listened. The woman who can’t talk to me about politics was happy to listen to my opinion on sex. What the fuuuuck?

What the fuck is happening in my family? And also, I love it. Are they more open to sex than they ever let on? Or do they believe in me enough that they can accept the fact that sex (especially kink) has become a central part of my life? Have I been underestimating them all along?

I don’t know the answers to any of that but it’s been good (so far). When I found the video below on Mashable, I tried to imagine my mother having this conversation with me when I was a kid. But after last night’s talk with them, I feel like I gave a sex writer version of it…sort of. And also, I’m reminded that I need to talk to my kids more openly about masturbation.

Welcome to Masturbation Monday! I know, I didn’t exactly bring the heat and smut this week. Sleeping in the same house as my mom has always killed my libido. Plus, I hate the idea of squirting (accidentally or not) on one of her beds. Sooooo….the kinky fuckery may have to take place in another location or when we get home. I’ll let John Brownstone decide that. If you came for the smut, though, you know where to go to find it.


About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • I’ve not progesssed to the point of discussing kink with my family. They act so damn weird about me dating I can’t be arsed to have a deeper conversation. Too much ridiculousness for me

    • On one hand, it absolutely is, and on the other, it’s so damn weird. I’ve developed habits over the past three years of never saying anything, so undoing that is hard – but I don’t think they really want to know as much as they THINK they want to know, so maybe it’s a good thing I still don’t talk about it much unless they ask.

  • I honestly think sex has become easier to discuss sex than politics or religion. Which is fine by me, it’s much more enticing and exciting.
    My question is… did you share your pseudonym? And if so, do you think they’ll read your work?

    • That was the one thing I didn’t share since so much of what I write is personal, instead of fiction. Knowing they didn’t know about it when I began blogging so long ago was freeing – it allowed me to say anything without having to worry my mom would ask questions. So it’s the one thing I’ve held back. My aunt would LOVE to know, and my mom is okay not knowing at all.

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