Who Holds Dominants Accountable for Their Behavior? #podcast

As a babygirl who recently sassed her Daddy Dom in front of the kids (not my smartest move), I know too well how Dominants hold submissives accountable for our behavior – consequences, punishment, removal of privileges, spankings that are painful enough to make you forget you usually enjoy spankings, ya know, the not-so-fun part of a D/s relationship.

When a listener asked John Brownstone who holds a Dominant accountable in a relationship for their not-so-great behavior, an episode was born.

I think some people (read: some Dominants) will see this and think we’re wrong to even discuss the topic. I’ll call these the I-do-what-I-want Doms. Sure, okay, feel however you feel about it, but it’s a valid question that a new or (sadly) recently hurt submissive should ask. What are the checks and balances in a D/s relationship? At least that’s how we interpreted the question.

So, regardless of whether you think it’s possible for a Dominant to be held accountable for their behavior or not, we tackled the subject in our usual wacky, rambling way. We welcome opinions on the topic. Yes, even if they differ from ours. This is how we grow and learn as a community, y’all.

Two “bonuses” to this episode: yes, we are going to offer some spanking/kinky educational videos through my Patreon account for those who were interested. And John Brownstone has something to say in the bonus section. He doesn’t “rant” often, but he had something to get off his chest. 

From the show:

  • Spanking and educational kinky videos coming soon to Patreon. Become a kinky patron now!
  • My harsh feelings, “If your Dom won’t do what they say they will, you may need to walk away.” Yes, that’s much easier said than done.
  • Submissives have to communicate with their Doms in to hold them accountable.
  • A Dominant should be willing to listen and take in what their submissive tells them.
  • The Dominant who refuses to listen, change, or care is a problem and a potential danger to their submissive.
  • Beware of a Dominant with a strong sense of entitlement with little sense of responsibility
  • There is a difference between pushing boundaries and being out of control
  • Accountability comes down to communication and integrity
  • If you need help communicating and accountability, a counselor or mediator may help.
  • A good Dominant holds themselves more accountable than anyone else. They are very hard on themselves, especially when they make mistakes.
  • Mistakes happen. A Dominant who accepts that and works to correct the problems is behaving the way they should. The Dominant who refuses to admit to their mistakes isn’t holding themselves accountable.
  • Bonus section! John Brownstone semi-rants but definitely speaks from the heart. I, however, tell weird factoids about our sex life you never wants to know.

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About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!

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