The numbness was settling in. My anxiety sat like a weight deep in my chest. My mind refused to stop spinning, hurling recriminations at me, telling me things I knew weren't true.
I was spiraling down into something dark.
When he pulled me close and gently stroked the tips of my nipples, I barely responded. His touch came from a million miles away. It was...okay.
I had no way to explain what I needed because I wasn't even sure myself.
Until he smacked my flank, and I squeaked.
My skin burned. My muscles twitched. I didn't move. No flinching. No pulling away. Just a hope that he wouldn't stop.
Oh God, yes. This.
Harder. Please, harder.
Sweat broke out on my forehead. Each connection of palm to bottom sounded like lightning cracking in a dark sky. The sound, the impact, the sensation - together they drove my demons into a corner.
Each blow fell harder and faster. He began to pant with exertion. I wondered if his hand hurt. Then another smack, another wave of cleansing pain, and I thought no more.
He pulled me close, spreading my legs, forcing an orgasm. Then another.
With one hand wound tightly in my hair, he held me down as he thrust his cock deep. I groaned.
Sharp pain. Waves of pain. Ragged cries. Sore body. Tender scalp. For an all too brief moment, I was whole again.
Later when he held me in his arms, both of us worn out by the stresses of the week and the exertion of the moment, he snuggled me close. "You feeling better, Babygirl?"
"A little. I think I needed it to hurt."
And I did. The weight of anxiety settled once more into my body, as I knew it would, but it was a little lighter, slightly easier to bear.
Welcome to Masturbation Monday. Okay, so this probably wasn't as hot as you'd like. I'm coming to terms with the idea that I may have some anxiety problems - they reared their ugly head last week and knocked me on my ass. But sometimes kinky fuckery with the one you love can help a little. Okay, enough about me, go forth and find something smutty to read by other writers.
Image via Tumblr (Masturbation Monday prompt)