8 Things to Give the Kinky Woman in Your Life on Mother’s Day

I’m a mom.
And I’m a kinky woman.
And I love sex.

(As if I haven’t made that obvious over the years.)

So what would be better from the man in my life for Mother’s Day (May 8 in the U.S., y’all) than some sex toys designed to bring me to the heights of pleasure? Better than flowers and chocolate, if you ask me.

In our relationship, there are the gifts that we open in front of the kids and other family members – chocolate, gift cards, Doctor Who anything (you should have seen John Brownstone’s face when he got a Doctor Who mug for Christmas – I could have saved my money and just bought him that!). Then there are the gifts we open when we’re alone…and naked. My Original Magic Wand (Hitachi) still stands out as a memorable gift. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

With that in mind, when you’re ready to shop for the mother of your children, the woman you love who happens to be a mother, or just an open-minded mom who clearly could use a few more orgasms, consider any of the toys on this list.

1. The Original Magic Wand aka the Hitachi

I always recommend the Hitachi, don’t I? Well, it’s my favorite toy, so why not? Want to force orgasms in a kinky and painful way? This will do it. Want to make her scream? This will do it. Oh, and for anyone with a cock, John Brownstone has run this up and down his own shaft a few times and created his own explosive orgasms. Just sayin’…

2. Vibease

The Vibease is great for discrete play. It rests up against your clit and can be powered by an app on your phone. Go to dinner wearing this one, and play out one of at least a dozen erotic fantasies. Will the waiter find out? Can she orgasm quietly? Can she hold the orgasm back? Inquiring minds want to know.

3. Couples Chemistry

Okay, so maybe this one can’t be a surprise, but once you both answer the questionnaires on Couples Chemistry, what comes in your Love Kit will be the real surprise. John Brownstone and I still have toys we haven’t used from our box – there was just so freaking much. And it opened up a different kind of kinky fuckery for us that was hot, hot, hot.

4. Lava 3 in 1

The Lava 3 in 1 is fun. It comes with purple and pink. And, my favorite part, it’s a great toy to use against your most sensitive parts while you’re fucking. Even better, when you need to charge it, you can just charge the base and no one will ask what it is (although, I probably wouldn’t charge it in your living room, even if it is just the base and doesn’t look like a dildo).

5. Canes from Cane-iac

Okay, I’m not a big fan of the cane, but I know a good one when I see, er, feel it. John Brownstone recommends Cane-iac and so do I. Even if it does carry mostly products of ass destruction. Our specific paddles and canes seem to have been discontinued, but I stand by the site itself, so I’m sure you can find something good.

6. Cuffs and Collar

My personal cuffs and collar (black and purple leather, y’all!) came from Bear Things. They’re made well, very durable, and not uncomfortable. But I would be remiss if I didn’t pimp my girl Angel of Babygirl Bondage Gear. Her cuffs and collars are freaking adorable. So if you need something rugged for some rough and tumble play, Bear Things is excellent, and when you want to get your girl something cute and frilly, check out Babygirl Bondage Gear. (There’s a purple Hello Kitty collar with tulle (!!) that caught my attention…hint hint hint….)

7. Nipple Charms

Want to help your girl feel pretty? Want to decorate her body? Want her to be thinking about her boobs (and you) even when you’re apart? Nipple charms will do the trick and don’t require piercing/body modification to get the job done. I’ve used the sticker kind and the little charm that hangs off of a taut nipple. Not every nipple will hold one of those, but the stickers are great – and just as pretty.

8. Pretty Rope

Not everyone is into bondage, and if you have zero experience with it, please take the time to learn a few basics before you try to tie anyone up. That being said, if you’re interested in learning more or want something unique, we have new (and purple, y’all!!) rope from My Nawashi. The rope is made of jute and is in the traditional Japanese Shibari style. Our recent order included a soft cloth blindfold that was functional and pretty.

As of the day I’m writing this, Mother’s Day is just over a month away. That should give you plenty of time to think about how you want to surprise the mother in your life who, fairly often, forgets she’s a woman because someone is hungry, someone can’t find their sock, someone needs more money sent to them at the dorm, someone put a ding in her car. #TheMomLife is real, y’all, and while it can be sweet and beautiful, it is also exhausting, stressful, and libido-killing.

Don’t let the libido die. Bring it back with the perfect gift for the perfect mom. (But make sure the kids really are asleep before you let her open it. Please.)

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