I don’t know if I need an entire book to explain my own masochistic desires and tendencies, or simply a word or two. I like pain mixed with sex. Sometimes, I just need pain to cleanse my soul and quiet my mind.
M is for masochism, y’all. Pain isn’t a requirement to be a submissive or to be kinky. If you’re into it, that’s cool. If you’re not, no worries. And for the record, I don’t like all pain, all the time. Stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night (ouch!) is completely different from a sharp smack to my ass or a nipple clamp.
Spanking is My Labor of Love! I Know if My Love Does Not Get the Spanking She Desires, Needs and Deserves; We Both Suffer! Great Blog! Thank You!
I can agree with that. Sometimes he needs to give and I need to receive. Thanks for your comment!
Oh, the pain of Legos! 🙂
I know! Awful, just awful!
Good post! I can’t explain it either but sex AND intimacy are so much better with it. And the de Sade quote really resonates for me. SK had been at least seeming to “get” that need I had, and deliver the remedy even though its highly unlikely he’ll ever have sadistic tendencies. He derives no pleasure whatsoever inflicting pain on me, but sacrificially does what he knows brings me pleasure. Sometimes this is a tough headspace for me as I’d like for him to be able to derive some satisfaction or pleasure in the control or pain he wields over me. I’ve really only once been with a sexual sadist and it was someone I couldn’t fully trust and who did not really love me. As thrilling and physically amazing as it was, I know now I’d never be able to return to a trust-less or loveless physical relationship with anyone… But a part of me would be very happy that my partner finds a compatible pleasure in TTWD.
Trust and love make sexual sadomasochism easier (if that’s the right word). If I know he’s not going to do anything to cause permanent damage – and he recognizes my safe word – then I can let anything happen.
For me, sex isn’t the same without it. It’s okay, nice even, but not quite right.