I will never complain about no longer being married to the ex, but I can admit mistakes that I helped make during our marriage. One of which was a definite lack of “us” time. Okay, so I didn’t actually want to spend time with him (which should have been a big ole red flag), but maybe if we had, things would have been different. Who knows?
What I do know is that I wouldn’t let past mistakes enter future relationships, not if I could help it. John Brownstone and I don’t get a lot of time away from the boys. Between the cost of a babysitter and finding the time, it’s been difficult for the past year or so. But we don’t let that stop us.
It’s not always about dressing up and going out. Not for us, at least. We like doing that, but it’s not always practical. Instead, we do date night our way.
We send the boys to their room with tablets or TV with the promise of staying up an extra half hour if they’ll stay in their room.
I order take out – sometimes Chinese, sometimes Italian. Once we were lucky enough to have Mexican delivered. Yay for queso!
We park our butts in front of the TV – a huge luxury for us, as we rarely have time or energy for watching much television. Sometimes it’s a movie, but sometimes it’s whatever series we’re binge-watching. Currently, it’s Big Bang Theory. I’ll forego a night of pigtails, knee socks, and Disney movies for BBT. No, really.
Either way, we’re “alone” without fussing, whining children who demand non-stop attention. We can talk about whatever we want, without censoring our language. We can watch what we want to watch without worrying about it being kid-friendly. And, on those nights of Disney movies, I can watch what the boys consider “girl” movies without all the faces and complaining.
It’s not like going to the dungeon. It’s not the same as dinner and a movie. But it gives us a chance to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company without having to tell anyone to sit up, use your fork, stop picking your nose, and eat your dinner, damn it!
Date night isn’t the only corrected mistake from the past, but I think it may be one of the most important. We have to be able to reconnect even when money and time are tight. No excuses.
Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! This week’s prompt is dating. No weird, funny, or even sad dating stories from my past. Just one way of taking care of my relationship with the most amazing man I’ve ever known.
Absolutely! Sounds like date night in these parts as well. My favorite time of the week.
Mine too. Everything slows down for a minute and we just enjoy each other’s company. Ahhhh, bliss. 🙂
I do look forward to those times with you.
They can be much better then going out.
I agree. Of course, with the things you plan for actual dates, I think you might have me beat. 😀
A beautiful, modern love story!!!
Complete with take-out and sitcoms. /giggles
Can relate a lot to this. Although our kids a still a bit too young to banish to their rooms for lengths of time without leaving.
A lovely synopsis regardless, and proof of what may be able to achieve someday! 🙂
I’m looking forward to the day when the oldest is old enough (and mature enough) to be left in charge while we leave – even if it’s just for an hour or two. Until then, we take what we can get. That’s all you can do.
I used to do early bedtimes every once in a while to get some time to myself.
I think it’s incredibly important for partners to always reconnect, because otherwise they drift apart and discover they have nothing in common when it’s far too late. Especially in the busy lives everyone lives nowadays.
I agree. He’s too important to me to let that happen…ever.
Making time for each other is so, so important. Especially if you have kids in the mix. Once we’ve had them, they tend to become our primary focus and, whilst that’s as it should be – we are parents, after all! – that focus shouldn’t, in a perfect world, be at the expense our other relationships. It’s hard, though! Balancing that tightrope of being everything to everyone is bloody tricky. :-/ Jane xxx
Very tricky. I’ve taken a page from my parents methods. They were there for me, but not every moment of the day. I needed my own space just as much as they did. I hope that by showing the boys this side of things, I can help foster that same need.
Thank you for sharing this. Date night is a sabbath. A sacred time of rest, reflection, and reconnection with those who feed our soul. Those who renew us simply by being there. It should be fiercely defended. (From the minister that married us)
Sound advice to me. If more couples treated it that way, there’d either be less divorce or less unhappy marriages…or at least people figuring out sooner they don’t want to be with that person, lol.
Oh my sooooo much this ” But it gives us a chance to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company without having to tell anyone to sit up, use your fork, stop picking your nose, and eat your dinner, damn it!”
I love my kids but I will happily admit that I love it when they go their Dad’s for a weekend for just the reasons your have stated here.
We’re planning an afternoon without them next weekend. To say we’re a little like kids before Christmas would be an understatement.
I adore them, but damn, you just need a break every so often, lol.
I had a past relationship that got destroyed because we just drifted apart and I will not let this happen again. I will be suggesting a date night of some sort with M as well once my personal circumstances have settled down (hopefully the next couple of months).
The best part is that it doesn’t have to be elaborate or cost a lot of money. It just has to be time spent together.
Now that our oldest is 13 and youngest 9 we can go out ALONE and not worry too much. We don’t stay out too long, enough time for dinner or drinks. We send them up to their rooms as well. So true that you have to make time. Our kids actually see the results of happy parents so they don’t hem and haw about it. We tell them we are doing it so we can be happier people. They get it.
The 9yo gets it. He doesn’t make too much of a fuss. The 5yo just wants his electronics – he could care less. We’re already looking forward to the oldest one being old enough AND mature enough to be in charge for a couple of hours. One of our biggest luxuries is a meal just the two of us, lol.