Wicked Wednesday

Learning to Expect the Unexpected #WickedWednesday

I don’t like surprises. I’m a planner, y’all. I have plans A through Z. Even though I know very little ever goes according to plan, I am comforted knowing I have one. Not using a plan doesn’t bother me. I just like to be prepared for anything.

I don’t do spontaneous well. I’m not good with surprises.

Sounds fun, huh?

Many years of my life were spent attempting to control my environment so that I could never be unpleasantly surprised. Entire hours could easily be spent imagining every possible scenario – no matter how implausible – all so I could figure out my own reaction and what I would do in any given situation.

I have routines in place so I know what should happen from moment to moment during the day.

I prefer having input on every activity or change of plans so I can help “guide” how things go – and be prepared for when it happens.

My mood can go into a complete tailspin with one unexpected change to my outlined plans for a day or week. (For the record, once I accept the change to my plans, I’m fine.)

Gosh, I sound like a barrel of fun, huh?

There is one exception to this bit of neurotic behavior.

Daddy. John Brownstone. Southern Sir. Whatever you call him, he is a calming influence in my life and finds ways of “forcing” me to relax, calm down, and expect the unexpected.

It is my trust in him that allows me to accept a “You’ll find out later, babygirl” or a “I’m not ready to tell you yet.”

He’s also the only person I don’t mind surprises from. And he’s even managed itย a few times (hard to do with a person who’s always watching, always analyzing, always surmising, and always deducing from the facts at hand).

If there’s a relief in being a submissive, it’s the lack of control which creates a momentary silence and lack of worry.

Because that’s what the control and planning are meant to appease – my ability to worryย about the what ifs, what nows, and what do I dos.

And only one person has that ability. For the rest of the world, I’m a planner, a worrier, and I seriously detest surprises.

Welcome to Wicked Wednesday. This week’s prompt is about the unexpected – which I hate.

Wicked Wednesday

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am an erotic author, sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, and an opinionated marketer. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • Oh, how I can relate!! I’m beginning to let go of expectations and the need to make a clear cut plan in other areas too, and the consequences have been very interesting.


    • Interesting is the right word. Even though I still plan and like control out in the vanilla world, now that I’m more comfortable letting go of expectations, I find that I’m much more relaxed in all situations – and that things have a way of working themselves out without my help – sometimes.

    • Exactly. SSir and I have had a few conversations about how I meltdown when my plans change…just give me a few minutes though, help me through it, and I’ll be fine – of course it took ME a while to figure that out, too, lol.

  • Up to “Gosh, I sound like a barrel of fun, huh?” I could have written this post. I hated surprises. I hated it when something I have not planned happened. If I had something in mind for my day, that was what was going to happen.

    And then I got to know Master T.

    He taught me to expect the unexpected. I am much more relaxed about unexpected things than I ever have been in my life before Him. And you know what? It’s great to be this relaxed. It’s just so… relaxing!

    Great post!

    Rebel xox

    • When I’m with SSir, I am much more relaxed. I’m not sure if it’s because I trust in him to help me handle the unexpected or if it’s because the lack of control means worry is a little pointless.

      I’m still working on handling the unexpected as a general rule. He has noted a few times that I am much more relaxed and less intense than I was when we lived apart.

      I think these Dominants may be good for us. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • I’m with You! I ALWAYS Plan for the Worst-Case Scenario! Things Seldom ,if Ever, Go as Planned! Great Writing!

  • I sometimes wish I could be organised enough to be a “planner” . . . well, probably only in normal work-nine-to-five mode. Because I often find spontaneous, unexpected, events are all the more enjoyable . . . and satisfying . . . and exciting, simply because they are unplanned.
    Xxx – K

    • Ack! I just got stressed out…spontaneous and unexpected scare me. /giggles

      That being said, I can admit that when I let myself just go with things (without the five plans, written in triplicate), I do enjoy myself. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • It took a long time to get to this point. The worrier in me kept me from trusting him for a long time. It is an amazing feeling to relax, but the neuroses pop up from time to time.

  • Wow, I totally relate to this. I’m slightly OCD and definitely Type A, and I plan like nobody’s business. It’s always wonderful to have that someone who will allow you to relax, to not plan, to just enjoy. Thank you for sharing this!

  • Oh my God…. Do I understand this post!!! One of the hardest things about this move is the people who keep messing up MY PLANS!!!

    I have told Daddy so many times about these wrenches that keep spoiling my perfectly laid plans…. and I DO NOT LIKE IT….

    Seriously. Do they not realize how much I obsessed over every little detail and how it overlays with my NEXT plan???


    He’s my calm to my storm too.

    And I will say this…. Like you, I spend all my days planning for safety. But not living that way is much more freeing and fun. Even if it is so goddamn hard.


    • I had the same problems during my move. If you’re anything like me (hmmm, and I think you might be, lol) give it a few months with Hunter, and it won’t matter quite as much. Oh, it still matters, but as long as I have Daddy, I’m pretty relaxed…well, mostly… ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I know all about planning out scenarios.

    I plan, I make endless lists, I try to get it all done, and I am a champion worrier. Coach is much better than I at taking it one day at a time and not losing sight of the big picture. I will get stuck on some detail, derail myself, then try to get out of it all by myself. Once I tell him it seems like I magically get unstuck. I really need to speak up more.

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