Sex Writing

Love, Compassion, and Sexuality #1000Speak

Only for some people will I do some things that may be a bit out of character. John Brownstone can get me to do just about anything because he’s, well, he’s John Brownstone. For friends, I will do lots of things – including become a NSFW beacon in the middle of some very nice, non-sex-talking bloggers – all in the name of compassion. I’m looking at you, Samara, because I’m pretty sure you batted your eyelashes or said something witty on Facebook, and I said, “Sure, I’ll do it!”

So here I am on a day when 1000+ bloggers decided to flood the world with compassion, and everything that comes to my immediate mind is a bit wild and crazy for a non-kink group. Le sigh.

Finding Compassion for Myself and Others

My mama raised me “right” which means I still, even after all these years of proudly proclaiming my kink,  find it hard to be open about it in the middle of people who aren’t my typical audience. There are some things that just shouldn’t be discussed in “polite” company. Right?

Ironically, in the midst of figuring out what to say about compassion, I find that I need to be compassionate towards myself – that yes even kinky fuckery writers can and will be accepted. And if I’m not, it doesn’t change a thing about who I am.

I also need to be compassionate towards other bloggers who probably have no idea that a wild-purple-babygirl has landed in their midst. I’m talking about the bloggers who discuss homelessness, disabilities, poverty, racism, and bigotry – all worthwhile topics, by the way.

Me? I’d like to think I’m a compassionate person by nature, but how I do translate that into this highly sexual space?

Love is Love

Well, let’s start with loving your child – gay or straight, transgender or not – because they’re your child, regardless of their sexual identity. You don’t have to understand something about a person in order to support that person. Hide behind religion all you want, but if that’s your schtick, you’re forgetting that we’re supposed to love one another – and that makes you a hypocrite. Just sayin’.

Let’s accept – even if we can’t love – everyone regardless of who they want to fuck behind closed doors (or, frankly, in front of open doors).

How about we allow gay people the exact same tax and legal benefits as the non-gays? Hmmm? Marriage for all, and love is love, baby.

I’m all for unisex bathrooms if it means a transgender person doesn’t have to be harassed for needing to take care of basic bodily functions.

Let’s stop slut-shaming, body-shaming, and kink-shaming, m’kay? Let’s stop worrying about what gender someone is, someone wants to be, or what gender you think they should be.

What you do in your personal life is your personal business. The only time any of us should have an opinion is when consent has been violated.

Let’s stop worrying about everyone else is doing in their bedrooms – and with whom they’re doing it – and take a look at our own bedrooms. Are we having the kind of sex we want with our partner? And if not, are we willing to make a change or take steps to correct the problem?

When it comes to sex, the only kind we should care enough about to stick our nose in is our own. The rest is for titillating voyeurism and/or exhibitionism – all good things in my book – or to learn something from one another. No judgement. No shame.


Compassion - 1000 Voices


About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


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