Wicked Wednesday

When Worlds Collide #WickedWednesday

It was bound to happen, I’m sure. And maybe it’s happened before, but I wasn’t part of it. But it’s happened now.

Wicked Wednesday and Masturbation Monday – when worlds collide.

What am I blathering on about? Well, this Wicked Wednesday, the topic is masturbation. I hope no one is shocked that I’ve got an opinion.

This week looks at it from two viewpoints – the person producing the picture, the words, the whatever that becomes masturbation fodder for another and the person who holds onto to some bit of writing, some image, something to masturbate to later.

/claps hands together

Well! Now we’re cookin’ with Crisco, aren’t we?

I started my blog to talk about masturbation – my own inability, my own adventures, my own experiences. Did I plan to be salacious about it? It would be insincere if I said I didn’t intend to be as sexual as possible.

Did I ever think others would be turned on enough to get off on my words? Oh hell no. I’m always shocked when someone tells me they read something I’ve written and then taken care of business. Part of me assumes it’s empty flattery, a bit of their own salaciousness. Part of me hopes that I gave someone a reason to jack off – I mean, hello, I write about sex, of course I want people to get off.

Do I write what I do so that people will get off? Not really. I know when I read a sex scene or even erotic romance, I’m often turned on – and my body certainly reacts. When I was married, I used erotica as a means of foreplay. The ability to get turned on without actually being touched seemed like a good thing at the time. Now, I read to learn new ways to describe similar situations. Research, if you will.

So, of course, I hope I turn people on, but no, I have no expectations of masturbatory-induced bliss.

But I created Masturbation Monday (I might have stolen the idea, but I haven’t discovered from who yet) so clearly, I want people to get off from my words. Right?

Wrong. Masturbation Monday is my small attempt to bring attention to masturbation. Some people are ashamed of it, some are frightened, and most people pretend they don’t. I prefer to bring it out into the open and make it seem normal – because it is.

I used to focus on actual masturbatory experiences of my own and others. Later, I changed to writing scenes that could induce someone to want to masturbate.

Wait, hold the phone. Maybe I do have expectations of masturbatory-induced bliss for my readers. For the record, though, I’m not worried, offended, or bothered if my words don’t result in masturbation. However, I would be ecstatic if they did.

On the flip side, my own masturbation has always been focused on what’s going on in my head. Pictures and words turn me on, but they don’t prompt me to rub one out real quick. I need something real – or as close to real as I can get. Honestly, I don’t masturbate anymore. Not from lack of desire (God forbid!) but because I don’t feel like I need to, so I don’t ask if I can. If I wait long enough, Daddy will make me cum more times than I can count. (And for the record, I never have to wait too terribly long.)

But back in the day, back in the early days of self-discovery, the spark of an idea was often enough. I thought about a man watching me, sometimes multiple men, sometimes a woman. Oftentimes I knew exactly who I imagined, but sometimes they were pure fantasy. The idea of eyes on me turned it into a performance. Other times, I imagined a voice whispered in my ear. At still other times, I imagined it wasn’t my hand, but his hand, his tongue, his cock.


What were we talking about?

Oh yeah, masturbation.

I think everyone should masturbate sometimes, at some point, for any reason or no reason. Use whatever tools you can to arouse yourself – pictures, words, your own imagination. And hell, if my books or blog posts make you want to masturbate, I’m all for it!


About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • I think the first time I spoke to you was after reading THE ADVENTURES OF SIR AND BABY GIRL…

    if we’re voting – I’m for, just saying!

    – pp

  • “I don’t masturbate anymore. Not from lack of desire (God forbid!) but because I don’t feel like I need to, so I don’t ask if I can. If I wait long enough, Daddy will make me cum more times than I can count. (And for the record, I never have to wait too terribly long.)”

    These words just made me realize it’s the same over here. I almost never masturbate anymore, actually only when I test a toy or when I am told to do it.

    Thanks for a great post, giving your view on masturbation & masturbation fodder 🙂

    Rebel xox

    • As I was writing it, I realized that I don’t masturbate anymore…I haven’t in a long time. I certainly don’t masturbate just because I want to get off – that could get me in trouble. But now that the distance is closed, we don’t have to use those means to feel good or close. 🙂

  • I only now masturbate when I’m told to. I’ll get a phone call or text and may have to send Coach a pic. He had me do a blog post once HA! He’s had me masturbate in front of him plenty of times and that’s always a thrill. I’m fortunate too that I don’t have to wait too long so there isn’t the same need.

  • Yep not a lot of masturbation here either! I cum like a multiple steam train and that can last me quite some time if needed after a hot and steamy session with the BF!!!

    ~Mia~ xx

    • Exactly. Usually, he gives me enough orgasms that I truly have no desire for anymore – and I can’t touch myself because I’m too damn sensitive, lol.

  • Well hell, this is the first I’ve seen of #MasturbationMonday. How could I miss that?? I may have to play along some time. 🙂

    It’s funny, but I don’t masturbate at W’s much, either – he “facilitates” lots of orgasms! But I do frequently during the week when I’m at Ad’s, since we don’t have sex as often as W and I do.

  • I think I am the polar opposite with regard to masturbation frequency. I used to partake a fair bit when I first discovered that I could give myself an orgasm but, for me, it’s one of the best ways to unwind and relax and it’s something that I do daily. What can I say? I’ve never been particularly good at waiting! 🙂 Jane xxx

    • Before D/s, and in between relationships before Daddy and I got together, I masturbated a LOT…OMG, all the freaking time. It helped me sleep better that’s for sure!


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