There is no shaming allowed in my kinky universe. All that matters is that everything is safe, sane, consensual, and legal. (For the record, I ignore any law on the books that doesn’t allow two consenting adults to fuck the way they want.)
If you like to eat peanut butter off your transgender lover’s genitalia while watching Sailor Moon, I say go for it.
If you want to be leashed and walked around like a dog while your significant other beats your ass with a riding crop, more power to you! (Rawr, by the way!)
If you want to only have sex in missionary position, twice a week, with the lights out, as long as the one you’re fucking wants it too, you’re good by me.
Dominant, submissive, master, slave, Daddy, babygirl, vanilla, kinky, male, female, transgender, gay, straight, or confused – I don’t care what you are or what you do, be who you are, do what you want, and keep it consensual.
I’ve been fortunate (knock on wood) that no one has come after me personally for being a submissive or a babygirl. I’ve never had to deal with other people’s (negative) opinions of my sexual preferences. But I know that’s not true for everyone.
I also know that we’ve become hyper-sensitive to it, too. People perceive offense where none is intended. Many bloggers feel compelled to add disclaimers to things they write about sexuality, letting people know that just because they use masculine and feminine pronouns in a certain way, they don’t mean to preclude others. I used to use those disclaimers, too. I finally stopped because I won’t be shamed into letting strangers know that they are capable of switching pronouns from “he” to “she” or “she” to “he.” If you haven’t figured out that I’m a woman and I write from my personal perspective (which is just as valid as anyone else’s perspective), I can’t help you.
I’m kind of a “can’t we all get along” kind of girl. If what you’re doing doesn’t affect someone I love or myself, I don’t really care about it (assuming, of course, that what you’re doing involves consenting adults). I don’t really care if you care what I’m doing – says the woman who blogs about her sex life, yes I see the irony.
There are so many types of people in the world with so many different sexual energies and preferences. I’ll never understand or experience them all. And that’s ok. You fuck differently than I do. You like different things than I do. It’s all good. Life is good.
So, in case anyone wondered, there is NO shaming allowed – no slut-shaming, no kink-shaming, no sex-shaming, no gender-shaming, no shaming at all – in my kinky universe. Be who you are. Say what you feel. Fuck who you like.
Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! This week’s theme centered around shaming. Figured I needed to say what most of my readers have probably already figured out.