Kinks Change @SceneMagazine_ #Dominance and #Submission

From my monthly article at Scene Magazine:

Everything changes. We grow. We move on. Life happens. Change is inevitable.

When I first discovered the world of BDSM, I thought my kinks were set in stone, and my interests would never change. Kinks are about preferences. My taste for sweet iced tea (I’m southern, y’all) has been virtually the same my whole life. Certainly my taste for kink should stay the same, right?

Wrong. Thinking that “kinks” won’t change is like thinking that food preferences won’t change. I’ve always loved sweet tea, but in the past year or so, I’ve also grown to love hot tea. As a child, I hated drinking water, but I grab a bottle of water each and every day – with no complaints. Preferences change because we change.

Imagine my surprise, though, when I first learned my kinks could change. For the record, I haven’t discarded any (yet). I’ve only added. My appetite for sexual adventure and boundary-pushing grows each and every day.

In the beginning, I stared at pictures and videos and devoured stories about different kinks. Spanking made me nervous because I didn’t know if I could handle the pain. Nipple clamps and pinching got me excited because I knew just how sensitive my own have always been. Golden showers and scat made me want to gag. Some things haven’t changed. Pinched nipples are bliss. Spanking, I’ve learned, can be therapeutic. And piss and shit play still grosses me out. (Note: these are my opinions only. If you like something (and it’s legal) go for it!)

Continue reading.

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • As always, so excellent. Have been missing your posts! I imagine as the move date gets closer, you are finding plenty of other things to occupy your time. 🙂

    • I’m glad I had a post today, too. While being busy is part of it, I actually had my first bout of writers “block” last weekend, and could think of NOTHING to post for three days. Hopefully, that won’t happen again anytime soon!

  • I’m still discovering all sorts of things that turn me on. This lifestyle has opened so many doors for us, I’m excited to see what’s behind the next one! Think of all the things you and SSir will discover together. Just blog about them for the rest of us?? LOLOL

    • I can only imagine what he and I will discover…especially since he’s so deliciously devious. /giggles

      And of course we’ll blog about it! I like melting people’s screens. LOL

  • I was just thinking about this very thing this week. Will have to link to your column when I post about it. Seems we are very similar on our thoughts here.

  • Couldn’t agree more…. I marvel over the changes in my desires and kink just over the past year….. Hell the past 4 months! That’s the beauty of this lifestyle….. It has no boundaries, pick and choose what you like and pass up on the other! Great post Kayla!

    Love and hugs friend! Would love if you can find some time for Peep and I this weekend girl!


  • It is amazing how things have changed in the past year, yes there are certain things that are and always will be off the table but it will be interesting as we move forward the things we have yet to explore together.

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