Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there – and to those dads, grandparents, aunts, and uncles playing the part of mom. This should be a Mother’s Day post, shouldn’t it? Well, maybe it is, sort of.
Daddy sends my eight year old a voice message every night. Every. Single. Night. And every night, Daddy says, “I love you!” in the most lighthearted, uplifting tone. He’s a reassuring voice in a slightly chaotic world for my oldest. The other night, I heard those words, and something inside of my heart broke apart. It had to break apart because joy and happiness overflowed. My existing heart couldn’t contain the emotions. (I know how the Grinch must have felt, feeling his heart grow three sizes. Mine grew at least another size.)
I have loved Daddy for himself for a long time. I’ve loved him as my Daddy and my Dominant for a long time. And I love him as the man who will act as protector and guide to two little boys who have the greatest need. He doesn’t have to do this – and yet he chooses this. He chooses me. He chooses them. There is something overwhelmingly wonderful about knowing that you’ve been chosen.
The boys’ father (and I use the term loosely) says all the right words about loving and missing them, but his actions (or lack thereof) speak volumes. The boys were stuck with their father by a fluke of birth. He will be “Dad” until they decide he isn’t. But my Daddy chose me, and he chose my boys. Those boys are not a burden to him. He’s walking into this life with the three of us with eyes, arms, and heart wide open.
My mind cannot conceive of it. And my heart cannot contain the pure, unadulterated happiness of knowing my babies are chosen by this great man who simply wants to love me and them.
Ever since my heart cracked open, I’ve cried at the drop of a hat. I imagine riding on the back of Daddy’s motorcycle – I can almost feel the air rushing past us – and I sob. I imagine walking hand-in-hand, and I cry. I see myself cooking dinner, making his coffee, and lecturing him when he forgets to eat, and I can’t stop smiling. And I can’t stop crying. Because he chose me; he chose us.
I think about school plays, honor roll assemblies, ball practice, first dates, late nights, illness, and I realize that I’m no longer alone. The boys aren’t alone. They have someone other than just their paranoid mom who worries about every single thing. They have the best person to show them what it means to be a good man.
So, I guess this is a Mother’s Day post because the best gift I could give myself today is my Daddy and the future we’re creating for one another. God, I love that man.
This was so unbelievably heartwarming. You have something amazing. Happy Mother’s Day to you and I wish you more happiness.
Thank you. I do have something amazing. My hope for everyone is that they can have something as amazing at least once in their lives. ((HUGS))
Happy Mothers’ Day, Kayla!
I am crying with you, to know the love that does and will continue to fill the four of you.
Ahhhh, no crying allowed! I’ve done enough of it lately for everyone! ((HUGS))
Miss Kayla- Happy Mother’s Day! <3
Yes, all of these are true, but none would be possible without you. In as much as he chose you, you accepted him because of all of those qualities. And those two boys- they're blessed to have a Mom like you who's making good decisions about a path which includes your Daddy, it just works together, as do you two, too!
Sit back for a moment (we know you're busy packing and such), take a deep breath, and enjoy this set-aside day for what it is. By the time Father's Day rolls around, you'll be in his arms… 🙂
Much love to you and all of your men Miss Kayla…
-Mynx's Sir (Tom Wolf)
For the first time in many years, I’m looking forward to Father’s Day – and not just because we’ll be together. 🙂
And thank you for your kind words. I tend to think in terms of what he does for us and what he brings to our family. I forget that I’m the other half of the equation. 🙂
Miss Kayla- you.are.an.amazing.woman.period.
Just ask your Daddy… 😉
-Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)
Mr. TW, I do keep telling her that all the time. She seems to think that I am biased in some way though so her hearing it from someone else like you just enforces what I keep trying to tell her.
Can I add a third to this! Amazing!
It’s official miss Kayla- you’re amazing! 🙂
Ok, y’all, you’re making me blush over here!
Kayla, I am so happy for you and you boys. Having someone to share in the raising of your boys with patience, kindness and most of all love is priceless. Having someone to share a great love like you and your Daddy have is the most precious gift of all. Have a wonderful day and hold on to these amazing feelings forever!
Thank you! Happy Mother’s Day to you, too.
This post brought tears to my eyes this morning! I always felt that Southern Sir was a good man, but now believe him to be a great man, and feel such true happiness for you all and your newly formed family!
Just think this will be the last Mothers Day you spend alone with just your boys. Next year the boys will have help in making this day extra special.
Southern Sir, (Kayla don’t read this next part ;D) Mothers Day breakfast in bed is a must next year, have the boys help! Just a suggestion Sir ;D
Kayla, happy Mothers Day friend, relax, enjoy, and dream of the days in less than a month now, where he will no longer say good bye for weeks and months on end, but only for hours at a time in a given day instead!
Hugs sweet lady! Love, Mynx
(((HUGS))) Thank you, Mynxie.
Daddy reminded me that this is the last Mother’s Day I’ll spend alone. That thought made me happiest of all.
I already thought your heart was wide open. How lovely that it opened even more. You describe it so perfectly. You made me weepy, too. I’m so happy for you and your D and your boys!
To living with a heart wide open!
((HUGS)) Considering the journey we’ve been on all these months, I figured I was wide open at this point, too. Guess there’s always room for growth. 🙂
Once again the tears flow, just a few more weeks Kayla, and the pieces of your life will all come together. Happy Mothers Day Kayla!
Happy Mother’s Day, Peep!
Awww, I didn’t mean to make anyone cry. ((HUGS))
Happy Mothers Day LBP
Happy Mo Day, Kayla. sounds like you’re having one.
Yes I am. 🙂
Oh my goodness, tears welling up in my eyes. How wonderful for all of you. How beautiful that word “choice” is and what a good, good man! You deserve every happiness. Have an amazing day, Kayla! I can’t wait to hear about your Father’s Day 🙂
((HUGS)) Thank you. Enjoy your day, too!
It is a beautiful word, isn’t it? I never realized it until just recently. 🙂
You talk about how I chose you, but it works both ways. You and your boys welcomed me into your home with arms wide open, Those two boys are an extension of you, it is because of you, your belief’s, your morals, your standards, and most of all your love that has guided those two boys and has begun molding them into the men they will become.
While a fathers guidance has it’s place; it is a mothers love that shines the true guiding light.
Happy Mothers Day!
I Love You!
Well damn it, now I’m crying again. We chose one another, and I am so very grateful every single day that we did.
I forget my influence on them…and sometimes I just don’t see it, but they’re good boys and I have every hope that they’ll become damn fine men.
((HUGS)) I love you, Daddy.
Well said Mr Brownstone, well said… 🙂
-Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)
You both deserve all that happiness can give you and I think your perfectly suited – so good luck with the move and all it entails. I suspect you’re going to have some fun night ahead of you 😉
Thank you! And I think you’re right about those nights ahead. 😀
I remember this exact feeling. And reading your post transported me back to those years when Mr. HH just constantly amazed me with his unwavering devotion to me and my son. Just when you think you can’t love them more, something like this hits you and you realize, there just aren’t words. Love is just too big. Happy Mother’s Day. It only gets better from here out. I can say that with complete assurance. All the things you imagine and more will knit you all together so much stronger than you ever realized. The love of a good man is priceless. It changes you in all the most beautiful ways. Many blessings to you both.
I think of you and Mr. HH and your relationship gives me much to look forward to…kinky brattiness aside, lol.
Giggle….I don’t know what you mean about kinky brattiness!
Mr. HH is my rock. I see that same love and devotion in your words with SSir. If you could read our VOLUMES of letters (cause we’re old) from our four years of dating, you’d know why I smile when I read your exchanges. So similar. I was so scared for the longest and he just wove his web about me and pulled me in. I have never wanted to escape. We’ve been together 22 years now. That little boy he loved is getting married himself this summer. Without Mr. HH, he would not be the man he has become. I pinch myself often to make sure I don’t live in a dream.
I never had a father who was there in anything but name. I sometimes wonder how things might have turned out differently. But I mad a peace with this some years ago and think I am a good man. I wish you, your boys and your Sir well.
I think you are too, from what I’ve seen and read.
My biggest wish for my boys is that they grow up to be good men – and since the divorce, I’ve been afraid that I won’t be enough to help them become that. Maybe I am, but it’s nice knowing I won’t be alone anymore.
Happy Mother’s Day. This is so heart warming.
Thank you. 🙂