Sex Writing

My Writing Process Blog Tour #bloghop

So, the great and wonderful Suzy Ayers asked me to be a part of a blog tour, and, I agreed. The requirements of the blog tour seemed simple enough – answer four questions about your writing and get select three or four authors to follow you the following week. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy, right?


For a myriad of reasons, the authors I felt I knew well enough to ask had already participated. Damn it!

Others didn’t feel like they could or should. Well, ok.

I asked one author who is interested, but I’ve dropped the ball and haven’t followed up, so if she participates that’s wonderful, but no guarantees.

I was bemoaning my inability to follow the rules to the letter, when the great and snarky Sheri Savill said something I’ll never forget: “We don’t need no stinking rules!” Pearls of wisdom right there, y’all.

So, I’m answering the questions and doing an open call for any authors who want to participate. The official rules are to link back to the person who invited you to participate, answer the four questions, and then link to 3 (or is it 4?) other authors who will participate the following week. Or, be a mavericky-maverick like me, and fuck the rules!

But I will answer the questions, so here you go:

What am I working on?

I’ve got two book ideas rattling around in my head and one book, the second Sir and Babygirl book is finally being written. The two ideas are outside of my comfort zone, but won’t leave me alone so I have to write them at some point. The Sir and Babygirl adventures are desperate to get out, but I haven’t figured out how to add more hours to the day yet.

How does my work differ from others of my genre?

A lot of authors write BDSM erotica. I think the big difference between myself and some is that I write about realistic relationships. I love to read fantasy and other types of erotica, but there are no billionaires, were-wolves, or aliens in any of my books. Real people, real relationships – that’s me.

Why do I write what I do?

Because I can’t do anything else. Writing feeds my soul, makes me feel sane, and gives me an outlet for the sexual fantasies (read: PORN) that float through my mind on a near-constant basis. And, I want to make BDSM, specifically D/s, seem real and less frightening to people who know it turns them on but are still fearful of it.

How does my writing process work?

I write on the weekends, and I plan out what I intend to write ahead of time. That being said, I don’t work from outlines. I don’t plot out the details before I write the story. I write short stories (usually) and Sir and Babygirl are simply a series of short stories. Each weekend, I work on a short story. When I’m done with the first draft, I leave it alone and the next weekend, I start the next story. Sometimes, I can write a full short story in one weekend and sometimes I need multiple weekends. I don’t go back to the rough drafts until all the stories are written. Then, I spend a weekend refining a story. The next weekend, I move onto refining the next story. Once they’re all refined, I start sending them to beta readers. Once I get them back from a beta reader, I look over them for any suggestions, tweak as needed. Then I sit on them for a couple more weeks.

Why the hell do I do it this way? Well, I can’t afford to hire a copy editor, proofer, or a creative editor. So, I give plenty of time between readings of the story. What happens is that I catch something to correct each time – something I didn’t see the time before. This means it takes longer for me to get something out and published, but I know it’s as good as I can make it when it does.

There you have it. That’s my writing process. Nothing life altering…on the weekends, I spend about 16 hours (between Saturday and Sunday) sitting at my kitchen table trying to build my brand, promote my book, write my blog, write the next book, plus build a vanilla business. Ya know, so nothing much. 😉

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • We share a similar ideal, to show more real world type relationships which involve BDSM rather than the fantasy. I like to write about how people evolve from the beginning of that journey through to where they are now. This way you see their struggles and growth. I want people to see that it is about the relationships, not all about pain or sex or whatever skewed idea they may have, and that there isn’t anything wrong with them for wanting the things they do.


  • I know I’ve told you this before, but you’re really dedicated and I look up to you for that. Good luck on getting the ideas rattling around in your head out.

  • It’s high time we connected! We have many mutual friends, and we both love to write about similar things! I like that you are so disciplined about your writing process… I’ve always been “as the mood hits me” person, but that is often and I generally write every day, time permitting. My best writing times are late evenings when my home is quiet. Some people need to read a book to wind down for bedtime; I have to write.

    I’m ready to put my work on Kindle, have been doing all the research, the formatting. Like you, can’t afford an editor but revise and edit myself… btw what is beta reader? The other issue I have is my cover art, not quite sure how to go about it.

    Don’t know if you’ve ever been over to my blog, but hope you check it out someday!

    • Hello there!!

      I used to be a “when the mood strikes” writer, too. Once I decided to make it a business (of sorts), I changed. But I need to write more than I need to read (which is weird for me, since I used to be a big reader).

      Beta readers are people who volunteer to read your work and give you honest feedback and criticism. Every beta reader is a bit different. I have one person who finds my typos and helps clarify my thoughts. I have another who tells me what she thinks of the overall story and where there’s confusion. They are worth their weight in gold, and I always gift them with a free copy of the book once I publish it.

      Cover art can be expensive, but I’ve found a workaround. Purchase the picture (costs can vary depending on the site you use) from a stock image website (iStockPhoto, canstockimages, etc. – a Google search will give you plenty of options) and then go to It’s a site where people offer their services for a minimum of $5. I find someone who makes e-book covers, send them the picture, the title, and the color scheme I want. For $5, I get a very simple cover that works just fine. 🙂 My last cover (for Sir and Babygirl) cost me a total of $30.

      And I’ve seen you around as well, so I’ll be checking you out very soon. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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