Sex Writing

Inspired By A Movie, I Changed My Life #EatPrayLove

I hate to admit that a defining moment in my life was a movie. A movie that was adapted from a book that I still haven’t read. I’m still inspired by it to this day, and even more so by the author who wrote the book.

Eat, Pray, Love written by Elizabeth Gilbert, starring Julia Roberts changed the entire direction of my life.

I knew when I watched it that the movie was based on a book, and I also knew that I was missing important details by not reading the book. That being said, what I took away has nothing to do with the detail changes between the two. I watched Eat, Pray, Love and knew in that moment that I would leave my husband and create a different life for myself.

My reasons for leaving were different (not better, not worse, different). And I will probably never be the woman who travels to a different continent to learn who I am. I’m okay with that. But the movie version of Elizabeth Gilbert’s told me that I could control my own attempt at happiness. I could have a different life. I could follow my heart. I didn’t have to continue doing what the world expected of me.

Within weeks, I was separated from my ex-husband. The decision was the right one for me and, ultimately, my children. There were times I wondered if I had made the right decision, if it made more sense to be in a relationship that wasn’t satisfying but that was easier because the struggle of our life was familiar. The struggles of this new life I was building were unfamiliar, foreign, and terrifying. I doubted myself at every turn. I worried that because I’d made a poor decision in choosing that man to be my husband and the father of my children that maybe I was incapable of making good decisions.

I wish, looking back, that I had sought out more about Elizabeth Gilbert. Had I done so, I would have seen this:

[ted id=453]

I believe everything happens for a reason. Had I watched this two years ago, I would have been in awe of this woman, because, hello, how could I not? But I don’t think I would have understood what she was trying to say.

I blogged through the divorce, finding escape in the power of writing and creating. I’ve always lived by the adage, “Write what you know.” I’m not good at creating something from nothing. I need at least a kernel of something I recognize to build upon.

In my current writing, there is always, still, an element of me and what I think I know. I don’t think I’ve been touched by the “genius” she refers to, but I think I’ve gotten a glimpse. There have been times when my fingers fly across the keyboard, the story pouring out of my mind at a speed that I don’t recognize, sometimes in a direction I never conceived. Sometimes the words fly into my brain, the start of a perfect sentence, the visualization of a scene that I have no choice but to find a home within my story. I think these moments are what she refers to in the video above. And yet, as she says at the very end, even when I’m not visited by my own genius, I will still show up. Something inside of me compels me…I have no choice otherwise.

I find it telling and purposeful, in some cosmic way that I don’t yet see, that on the precipice of the curviest, bumpiest part of my young life, her personal story (or the dramatized version) of Eat, Pray, Love touched me and inspired me to change my own life and take my destiny into my own hands. And now, when I sense another precipice that I can’t quite understand and don’t know where it may lead, I find her words, her thoughts, and her inspiration again.

Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for simply being who you are. One person really can make a difference. We didn’t cure cancer; we didn’t land on Mars. But your life and words that inspired a movie also inspired me. I am so much better off for it now.

And now, damn it, I need to read the book and watch the movie (again!).

For my writing friends who’d like a little inspiration with some real life advice, check out the post Copyblogger wrote about her recently.

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


    • I think it’s very rare that you actually feel the moment when you know you’re going to change your life…and that was a moment when I did…I guess it’s a defining moment in my life. I can feel another one happening, there’s something out there that I can’t quite reach…not sure what it is, but I think it will be life changing, too…

      And thank you. Sometimes my writing just seems like a jumble of words to me…I’m glad it makes sense to someone.

  • I’ve been separated from my husband of 24 years for less than three months. I have been called selfish, self serving, and arrogant. These words have come from the mouths of my own grown up children and my ex husband. I received no support from my mother. Though she loves me, she sided with my husband and kids.

    I too was inspired by this author. But I was also inspired by you Kayla. I knew even after 25 years of being with the same person and doing the same thing, I could change my destiny. And I did. I won’t go back to that old life, no matter how comforting it could be.

    I realized last Friday, as I sat at dinner with my ex and kids, that my old life was gone. I didn’t have to sit with them and feel like screaming, shut the hell up and listen to me! Respect me. Love me for what I am and am not. I could go home to my place and just ‘be’.

    I may be alone, but it’s my life. My time to figure who I am and how to love myself. Write for myself. Sleep when I want. Sleep with whom I want if I so choose.

    It’s not easy to be alone, but that’s okay. My life is mine. Finally. Thank you for writing this post and sharing your ‘spark’ of genius.

    Love, Renee

    • There’s something freeing about just being, even if it means being alone. I’m glad you’re finding your own path in life, as hard and painful as it may be at times. And you are NEVER alone – there are many of us who adore you. ((HUGS))

  • Change is not always easy nor welcome yet once we see or way through it can be an amazing thing.
    I don’t think I am biased when I say I see your genus in all your words.

    • You might be a little biased, but thank you all the same. Sometimes I can see it for myself – when I write something and turn myself on or when the words just seem to flow. Other times, it’s more like work…but it’s work I love…

  • Kayla – I read this blog post, and the entire time I was thinking yes, yes, YES! I had a movie effect me in much the same way. It was the first time I watched Secretary, a quirky and loving movie about BDSM. I didn’t know at that time that BDSM was even a thing, but I recognized myself in those characters. And I realized that I couldn’t continue living a half-life with a man that didn’t understand me at all. That movie planted a seed, and eventually it germinated into me leaving my husband and starting a new life. Being alone is glorious even when it’s hard, and I’m in control of my destiny now. I’m the person that I’ve always wanted to be… I only had to unearth her and believe. Congratulations to you, my friend, for having come so far. Isn’t it wonderful to be free? Hugs!

    • I have seen that movie, and it stirred something in me as well, but I didn’t understand it at the time. I plan to watch it again soon now that I have a greater self awareness.

      Living a half-life is something I understand. And I definitely wouldn’t go back – EVER. Freedom is a beautiful thing…being who I am, deep down, is even better.


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