I maintain control in nearly every facet of my life. Between home and work, even when I should let go a little, I exercise whatever control I can.
The one place I don’t want control is during sex. I want to give up control completely. I think.
Letting a man lead me while making love excites me. But am I a submissive? I have no idea.
When I read about Doms and their submissives, it’s exciting. My body reacts to it. But why?
The trust between them is the most intriguing. To trust someone so much that you will do whatever they demand/command/request? That intrigues me.
I don’t want whips, chains, belts, plugs…I don’t think I do.
I want the trust, the willingness, the desire to please – knowing that what I give, I will receive ten-fold.
Is that my ultimate fantasy? Not the sex scenes that play in my head everyday…but this? Trust as a fantasy?