I’m laying in bed tonight, clutching Mr. Teddy and crying. Don’t ask me why, because I’m not sure.
Instead of being a bouncy, bubbly babygirl for him tonight when he called, I swallowed down stupid tears. Instead of writing or editing tonight, I wondered if it would ever mean anything or amount to anything and then asked myself why I bothered.
Sigh.
I know part of it is hormones. Guys, you can’t ask us if our moodiness is “that time of the month” or hormones. But, in yet another double standard between the sexes, I can and will blame my own moodiness on hormones.
The rest of the problem is that I’m filled with doubts. Life is moving along in a direction that I’m actually very happy about, but I’m scared and unsure and as always, impatient. Because I’m not getting what I want as quickly as I would like, I find myself worrying that it never going to happen. Ugh. That feeling sucks.
Tomorrow I’ll be fine, or the appearance of fine…tonight I’m equally hormonal and impatient – a bad, baaaaaaad combination…
Hey there… yes, it’s a bad combination. We get to not thinking straight and then having doubts and then, well, then things go sideways mentally.
Doubts are normal. I don’t think they ever go away. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other and see how things wash out in the end. We don’t get to know in advance how that’s going to be. We take risks, close our eyes, and leap – because we believe.
And I’m a big believer in closing one’s eyes and leaping…but there are always doubts…I feel better this morning… 🙂
Glad to hear it. 🙂
We all feel like that sometimes. Some of us… often. ((hugs))
I have this strange notion that I’m supposed to be superwoman…((hugs)) Thanks…
🙁 sorry for your lack of happy. Sending hugs.
B.
I woke up feeling more normal, so all is well. Thank you. (hugs)
Sadly I totally understand what you’re talking about . I feel like we share some of the same struggles.
((HUGS))
Hugs! I usually find that the moment I stop to think about what I’m doing and how fast it is going and going well, I panic. That is when self doubt hits like a double sledge hammer. It’s difficult, but don’t stop. Take that deep breath and keep on going.
You are Loved.
You are Superwoman.
You’re allowed to be hormonal.
What would you do if you KNEW you would succeed?
Pedal faster and spray monster spray* under the bed.
Love and hugs!
(Monster spray is lavender essential oil and water, put in a spray bottle. I “invented” it years… damn… 28 yrs ago when my son was afraid of monsters.)
I’ll be stealing the monster spray idea…and I know, and you’re right…it’s that sledge hammer hit that drives me crazy…
Monster Spray is great stuff. 🙂 I highly recommend it. As for that sledge hammer, remember, you will survive. 🙂