I’m laying in bed tonight, clutching Mr. Teddy and crying. Don’t ask me why, because I’m not sure.
Instead of being a bouncy, bubbly babygirl for him tonight when he called, I swallowed down stupid tears. Instead of writing or editing tonight, I wondered if it would ever mean anything or amount to anything and then asked myself why I bothered.
I know part of it is hormones. Guys, you can’t ask us if our moodiness is “that time of the month” or hormones. But, in yet another double standard between the sexes, I can and will blame my own moodiness on hormones.
The rest of the problem is that I’m filled with doubts. Life is moving along in a direction that I’m actually very happy about, but I’m scared and unsure and as always, impatient. Because I’m not getting what I want as quickly as I would like, I find myself worrying that it never going to happen. Ugh. That feeling sucks.
Tomorrow I’ll be fine, or the appearance of fine…tonight I’m equally hormonal and impatient – a bad, baaaaaaad combination…