I don’t do this much in real life, and I can’t remember ever having done it on this blog. But fuck it, it’s my space to say what I need to say, and I’m pissed.
He’s a goddamned douchebag, an asshole. At one point in life, he was the father of my children, but now, he’s a fucking sperm donor. Who calls their kids once a fucking month for no good reason other than….what? Short of being where you physically are unable to make a phone call, what fucking reason could you POSSIBLY have? Asshole.
And did it kill you to admit to me that you have a job? Were you afraid I would start demanding child support? You didn’t support us financially when we were married, why the fuck would I expect it now? I take care of our children just fine without YOU. Asshole.
I heard the hesitation in your voice when I asked for your address. No really, douchebag, I want to send you the boys’ school pictures. I always buy enough so you can have a few copies too. The fact that I’ve had to ASK for that information is ridiculous. But for you to hesitate because you’re worried I’ll do something nefarious with it is beyond insulting. Of course, I think you’re more worried I’ll let the state come down on your ass for child support. Asshole.
I don’t need you. I certainly don’t want you. But your children miss you. It used to bother me. Now I’m just waiting. I’m waiting, quietly and patiently, for them to figure it out on their own. They’re young so all they know is that they want their dad. But they’ll learn who and what you are. I just have to sit back and let it happen.
You worry that I badmouth you to your own children. I should be insulted by that, too. You act like you just met me. Fucking asshole – they are my babies, and I will not purposely cause them one moment of angst. To them, because of me, asshole, they think you’re just great – they don’t understand why you moved; they don’t understand why you don’t call or visit. But I do, and you’re an asshole.
I’m not the bitter divorcee that thinks all men are scum because I was dumb enough to pick a douchebag like you. And I don’t blame anyone but myself for my choices in life. I know one thing, I got the best part of you in those little boys. You have no goddamned clue what you are passing up and missing. Asshole.
I don’t need you and one day, hopefully, neither will they. I pray that one day they will have something so much better than you ever dreamed of being – and maybe they’ll never realize what they’re missing. Fucking asshole.