I spend a lot of time on Tumblr, I admit it. It's become an addiction.
I got fed up yesterday and went on a rant (on Tumblr) about only seeing the perfect, beautiful, non-existent women instead of women like me.
This morning, I got a wild hair up my ass and posted this on Tumblr...
As I looked at myself in the mirror this afternoon while getting dressed, I became angry at myself. There was a time when I was loved by a man who thought I was beautiful. I sent him pictures of my nude body. He responded breathlessly - as if he'd never seen someone like me before. He saw every flaw, every mark, every scar, every extra bit of fat, and he loved me.
Why the hell am I so ashamed of my own body? I don't want the man who would take one look at me and lose interest. I want the man who loves me despite my flaws and because of my flaws. I want the man who looks deeper. I want the man who appreciates me for who I am.
Now, I'm on a one-woman crusade to add reality to everyone's Tumblr dashboard - at least the small piece of the world that follows me. While I was getting dressed today, I slid my jeans over my naked ass and realized my ass in jeans (or out of them for that matter) is sexy as hell.
This is what I shared with the Tumblr world tonight.
I'm far from perfect. But who gives a fuck?! Somewhere in this world is someone who will love me for all that I am.
My attitude about my body is changing, and for the better. No, I don't look like the 20-somethings I see everywhere. No, I don't even look like the 30-something women I saw at the grocery store today. But I know my own worth, and I don't want the man who can't see past the physical. The man who loves me will be rewarded with love untold. I think that's worth much more than a tight ass and flat stomach.