Subdrop – A Newbie’s Perspective

One night does not an experienced submissive make, and I am fully aware of that.  But I know me very well, and I know that I was off yesterday.

I cried easily yesterday.  I slept half the day.  When I woke up from an unplanned nap, I was lightheaded and dizzy.  My emotions were at the surface, but they were not positive.  I experience my emotions very physically at times, and I was sick nearly all day.  Sir and I discussed it – subdrop, my own unique brand of it.

What I needed, I could not have.  I needed His presence, His calming influence, Him.

I’m better today.  A full night’s sleep, a hot breakfast, and a few moments to share with all of you.  I feel more normal.

Yet I feel so changed on the inside, I believe people should be able to tell when they look at me.  Apparently not, though.  Maybe that’s a good thing.  Explaining subspace and subdrop may be a little difficult.

I should be writing the titillating details.  I should tell you about showing Sir His pussy and feeling His tongue lap up every bit of me.  I should tell you about how natural it felt to lay across his knee while he spanked my (His) ass.  I should tell you about the sting of the paddle and how it reduced to me to tears – tears I relished in.

And I will, just not yet.  I’m still processing.  I’m still reeling from the experience.  I’m still learning how to navigate the world feeling so changed and new.

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • What you are feeling is absolutely normal and painful and part of the aftermath of the bliss. Self-care is very important if your Sir cannot be present. Take care of yourself 🙂

  • It does manifest differently in everyone. Leigh, very early in our D/s relationship, came home from work and spoke of “being off, not centerered..” and many other classic subdrop symptoms. We had a long talk about subdrop (I recognized it as soon as she described it). At that point she was not quite a believer and very skeptical of the whole phenomenon. Now she knows it and Topdrop so well that she can not just identify her but also knows that I typically crash about 2 days after!

    She wants to schedule planned “Top maintenance” for those days. No, not JUST that! I was seriously touched at her idea. And the next time it happens I’ll likely blog about her idea and approach.

    You were right on in rest, hydration, good calorie dense foods to help soften the crash.

    Now you know what its like, and how it feels, when, etc. You’ll be better prepared for the next one 🙂

    • As bad as it was, I look forward to it because it means I will have entered subspace again…but yes, I will be better prepared – and make sure to have even more chocolate available, lol…

  • Sometimes I don’t even realize I have sub-high until sub-drop hits me. Somehow I get so caught in the spell, that… I can’t really explain it. I am vulnerable during sub-high. It seems like I am game to do anything when I have sub-high. When subdrop hits me it feels like anything from light melancholy to very bad depression. Our first night was by far the most intense night, but the sub-drop the next say was mild. The night I got sub-high from humiliation, I did not realize how very high I was. He pointed it out to me about an hour after we had finished playing. He told me that I still had a slap happy dumb grin on my face. A few hours later he yelled at me for something stupid and the sub-drop hit me like an anvil falling out of the sky. I hid under a blanket for three hours with one eye peaking out and just kept quiet. Silly, huh? It passed in about three hours though and I was fine. I guess a lot of it comes down to the quality of aftercare. I know that when I have sub-high I am generally full on submissive. When I am full on submissive, I can’t ask for what I need. If I am not getting the aftercare I need then I don’t know how to express my needs. Really they are simple. I need to lie next to my Dominant and I need him to hold me for a few hours. Put on a movie or the TV or music. Whatever he wants, but just stay with me and hold me. That’s it.

    • I think I understand completely…when I was in subspace, I probably would have done anything He wanted…but I was physically incapable…He had to leave the next morning, but felt horrible that He wasn’t there when I dropped so bad…because it didn’t hit me first thing…all I wanted to do was sleep and I felt so sick…I received an email from someone and called Him up sobbing about it…I think that’s when He knew I had dropped really low…

  • Thank you for posting! Recently, after a night of dirty kinky sex, I was just “off”. I couldn’t focus and was very emotional – even at work. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. What you’ve written here made me realize that I experienced my own kind of subdrop.

    • I have a feeling there are a lot of similarities for most people, but everyone is different and has their own unique brand…my Sir didn’t even think it was subdrop until I woke up lightheaded and dizzy from a nap…

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