The Monster Saved Me

Love me some InMon Prompt…

Lost in life, moving from one failed relationship to the next, searching for some unnamed, unknown thing, I found Him.

Desperate to release control, I handed it to Him.  Trusting in Him to keep me safe, he showed me that pleasure and pain can be one and the same.  They live together in my heart and body.  Relinquishing control set me free.

Beautiful in his eyes, I bend to His will with no regrets.  My body belongs to Him, and He cherishes it.  In His care, my confidence in my beauty, my body, my self grows each day.  I am a woman; I am His woman.  Falling has been effortless; trusting has been gut-wrenching.  Following my instinct never fails until my instinct pits me against years of ingrained doubt.  How can something be wrong if it feels this right? How can something be wrong when it feels so natural?  Like a snake that has shed her old skin, this new skin is tight and feels new, but it is as part of me as my brown eyes.

There is freedom in giving up control.  There are those who can never understand – they believe giving over control means giving over one’s self, one’s identity.  I am more in touch with who I am as a woman today than I was yesterday.  Confidence blossoms bigger and brighter each day.  Over-thinking no longer applies – I trust that the decisions made for me are the best.  I have not been let down yet.

The lack of His presence fills me with dread – did I dream this? This can’t be real.  Nothing should feel this effortless.  Letting Him down can not be born; it is unthinkable.

I look forward to the pain He will introduce knowing that pleasure will follow.  I am His to use for His pleasure and in His pleasure, I will find my own.  He will stretch my limits but will not break them.

You who do not understand may call Him “monster,” but know this – the Monster saved me.