Every Damn Day in June

Desperately Seeking Sleep

vintage picture of woman in deep sleep

Image via Pixabay

I need more sleep. Who doesn’t, right? We all do. Does anyone actually get enough?

Every time I make a plan about going to bed earlier, not hitting snooze in the morning, and doing everything that’s supposed to make you feel energized during the day, the opposite happens.

John Brownstone and I stay up late because our book is too good or there’s a video on YouTube that I just have to watch. Then I stare at the ceiling, trying every relaxation technique I know to quiet my brain and fall asleep. Of course, if you do all those techniques at the exact same time, it tends to get noisy and stressful, and not a lot of sleep actually happens. Then I promise myself I won’t hit snooze and I’ll get right up in the morning.

Yeah right.

If I don’t hit snooze (rare), I grab my phone and scroll through Twitter or the news from the night before (just to make sure the world didn’t end while I slept). I can easily lose 30 minutes just doing that.

I’ve read, watched, and heard enough about productivity and “seizing the day” to know that this only slows you down. It makes you more tired. And is the noise of Twitter or the dumpster fire that is the United States government really the first thing I should let seep into my brain? Before the sun is even up?!

Probably not.

My sleeping (or lack there of) habits are deeply ingrained, over years of adulting, especially in the age of smartphones. The last thing I do when I go to bed is look at a small screen and take in information. The first thing I do is stare at a screen and take in more information.

It’s a habit I really want to break. I’ve been watching Mel Robbins videos on YouTube. She’s a kick-ass-don’t-give-a-fuck speaker and motivator. I think I like her. But damn I’m not doing a good job of trying her tips and tricks for getting sleep, waking up, and being more productive.

I started this post talking about sleep and have landed on productivity. Have I lost you? For me, the two go hand in hand. When I have enough sleep, and I can focus (with my phone safely in another room), I get shit done.

But when I don’t get enough sleep and I let my phone distract me? End of story. Game over. The End. I might as well give up for the day. Nothing gets done, and if it does, it’s not my best.

So yeah, I need more sleep. But more importantly, I need to do the things that I believe will help me get more sleep.

Less screen time. More time alone in dark rooms with no distractions (except the warm, naked body of John Brownstone, of course). The commitment to get up when the alarm goes off. The willingness to tough it out even though I hate waking up early. And letting go of bullshit excuses which only ever make me feel guilty because I know they’re bullshit excuses even as I make them.

badge for every damn day in june blogging challenge

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • I cycle through good sleep/weird dream sleep/ and did I sleep cycles. I also cycle through different sleep meditations. The one I have been listening to the most is called Dalai Lama Sleep Technique from the Daily Meditation Podcast (the only app I can find it on is PodBean). After skipping the first 2m45s because of multiple listens, I hope to drift off to sleep listening to her. Sometimes I will go along with it and state the ‘I sink into peace’ affirmation and other times I don’t. (Also, there are times her voice and slightly stilted speech/hesitations irk me and I have to use something else.)

    I still hit snooze in the morning, but usually just the once. 😀

    • The past few nights have been weird for sleep. It takes forever to fall asleep and then I jolt awake for no reason, but I fall right back to sleep. Writing this post gave me the push I needed to move my phone away from the bed, so we’ll see what happens when I don’t start and end my day staring a phone. I’m not sure I could listen to a voice while I try to fall asleep. I worry I’d start thinking and having imaginary conversations with the voice, lol.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.